~*~ Not Everyone Is Suitable To Be Your Friend ~*~
It is after seeing a lot of hypocritical mannerism, God fearless attitude of friends and betrayal
I have perceived this reality as mentioned in Al-Quran and Gems of Scholars:
1 – Allah Said:
{“Ah! Woe to me! If only I had never taken so-and-so as a friend! He
indeed led
me astray from the Reminder after it had come to me!”}
[al-Furqan; 28-29]
2 – The Messenger of Allah(Sal Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said:
“A person is upon the way of his friend. So, let one of you look to whom he keeps as a friend.” - [‘Sahih al-Jami" (3545) and ‘as-Silsilah as-Sahihah' (927)]
3 – ‘Abdullah bin Ahmad bin Hanbal{rahimahullah} said:
"My father went out to Tarsus on foot, and he perfored two or three
Hajjs on foot, and he was the most patient of people upon being alone.” - [‘Tarjamat al-Imam Ahmad'; pg. 18]
4 – Ibn al-Qayyim{rahimahullah}said:
"Know that the greatest of losses is for you to be preoccupied with one
who will bring you nothing but a loss in your time with Allah – the
Mighty and Majestic – and being cut off from Him, a wasting your time
with the person, a weakening of your energy, and the dispersing of your
resolve. So, if you are tested with this – and you must be tested with
this – deal with him according to how Allah would wish, and be patient
with him as much as possible. Get closer to Allah and His Pleasure by
way of this person, and make your getting together with him something to
benefit from, not something to incur a loss from. Make sure that you are the one who
gives him a ride, and that he is not the one giving you the ride. If he
refuses, and there is nothing to gain from travelling with him, do not
stop for him, bid him farewell, and do not even turn back to look at
him, as he is a highway robber, regardless of who he really is.
So, save your heart, be wary of how you spend your days and nights, and
do not let the Sun set before you arrive at your destination.” [‘al-Wabil as-Sayyib'; pg. 45]
5 – Ibn Jama’ah said:
" ....There is a phrase that is constantly on the
tongues of the Fuqaha’: ‘Repelling something is easier than removing
it.’
So, if someone requires someone to befriend, let that person be
righteous, religious, pious, wary, intelligent, full of benefit, having
little evil, good at complying, rarely conflicting, reminding him if he
forgets, cooperating with him when he is reminded, helpful if he is in
need, and comforting if he is in distress.” - [‘Tadhkirat as-Sami' wal-Mutakallim'; pg. 83]
6 – Ibn Qudamah al-Maqdisi{rahimahullah}said:
“Know that not everyone is suitable to be your friend. You must verify
that this potential friend has the neccessary characteristics that make
friendship with him something to be desired.
1.) He must be
intelligent, as there is no good in befriending an idiot, as he will
only harm you when he wants to benefit you. By intelligent, we mean one
who understands things as they are, either on his own, or if they are
explained to him.
2.) He must have good manners, and this is a must. One
who is simply intelligent might be overcome by anger or desire, and
obey his desire. Thus, there would be no benefit in befriending him.
3.) He must not be a fasiq, as such a person would not fear Allah, and whoever does not fear Allah cannot be trusted.
4.) He must not be an innovator, as his abundance of innovation is feared from befriending him
5.)should not be eager for the dunya.”
[‘Mukhtasar Minhaj al-Qasidin'; p. 126-132]
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