~*~10 beautiful aspects of an Ideal Muslimah~*~

1. Her Obedience to the Creator:

A practicing Muslim man loves to have a practicing Muslim wife; who knows that the life of this world is nothing but a test from her Lord; giving her an opportunity to come closer and closer to Allah, doing more and more good deeds to please Him Azza wa jal, restricting herself from the desires of her inner self that go against the will of her Creator.

But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. (Surah An- Naaziyaat: 40-41)

2. Her Haya (Modesty/Shyness):

Haya is one of the most significant factors of a woman’s personality. Haya according to a believer’s nature refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one’s fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “Haya comes from Eman; Eman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

A Muslim woman feels shy to do

anything that would displease her Lord in any aspect. She has haya in her talk, she has haya in her gaze, she has haya in her clothing, she has haya in her walk. Her haya in her talk is that she is not soft in her speech but speaks honorably. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner” (Surah Al-Ahzaab:32)

Her haya in her gaze is that she does not look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prohibited for her to look. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)… (Verse continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her clothing is that she does not reveal to others what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has forbidden for her to reveal. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

…And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.. (Verse Continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her walk is that she walks modestly without attracting others attention towards herself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

..And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger Sallallahu alaihiwasallam say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle of the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in “Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq)

A woman who has the knowledge of Allah’s commandment to preserve her modesty, submitting herself to the will of her creator, even after having the desire to be praised for her beauty, is without doubt beloved to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and as well as to all good believing men.

3. Her Beauty:

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala made women beautiful in the sight of men. It’s just that some human beings are more attracted towards some than others.

Aishah RadhiyAllahu anha said: “I heard the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Al-Qurtubi said: “Although they are all souls, they differ in different ways, so a person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common. So we notice that people of all types will get along with those with whom they share an affinity, and will keep away from those who are of other types. [This is like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”] For a believing man, a Muslim woman’s beauty is not just how her nose looks or how big her eyes are, but her modesty, purity of heart, and innocence make her look beautiful as well. Also Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala makes people whom He loves, pleasing to others.

“When Allah loves someone he calls to Jibreel Alaihissalaam saying, ‘O Jibreel, I love such and such a person, so love him.’ Then Jibreel will call to the (angels) of the heavens, ‘Allah loves such and such a person so love him.’ And the angels will love [that person]. And then Allah will place the pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

4. Her Intellect/playfulness:

Intellect and playfulness are two qualities of women highly liked by men. Every man likes to have an intelligent wife who can advise and support him in day to day matters. Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiyAllahu anha was one of the most beloved wives of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She supported Allah’s messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) at the very beginning of his Prophethood when Jibreel alaihissalaam brought the first revelation to him. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) always admired her and remembered her even long after her death. A playful wife is a joy and pleasure to a man’s heart. Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam recommended Jabir bin ‘Abdullah to marry a virgin so that the two could play with each other and amuse each other. Narrated Jabir bin ‘Abdullah: “My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron.

Allah’s Apostle said to me, “O Jabir! Have you married?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “A virgin or a matron?” I replied, “A matron.” he said, “Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you.” (Hadith continued) (Sahih Al- Bukhari)

5. Her Truthfulness:

Being truthful and honest is an essential quality of a believer. ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood RadhiyAllahu anh said:

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “I urge you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will continue to be truthful and seek to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as speaker of truth (Siddeeq). And beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hell; a man will continue to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

A person who is known to lie repeatedly loses his trust. And if that happens in case of a marital relationship the whole relationship falls apart. A woman who is known to be a “Siddeeqah” certainly has a higher status in a Muslim man’s heart.

6. Her Obedience:

Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala made man protector and maintainer of the woman and enjoined upon her to obey him in all the matters that do not go against Quran and Sunnah. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (Surah An-Nisa’: 34)

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.” (At-Tabarani, Ibn Majah)

7. Her Patience:

Patience is a characteristic that can never be praised enough. A woman who remains patient at the times of hardship and relies on the help and mercy of Allah is without a doubt a beloved servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)” (Surah Aal Imran: 146)

8. Her Cooking:

Delicious food is without a doubt weakness of men. It’s an old saying that “The Way to a Man’s Heart is through his Stomach”. We also know that one of Prophet’s (Sallallahu alaihiwasallam) wives used to cook food that he liked a lot and due to that Aishah radhiyAllahu anha would get jealous, because she didn’t know how to cook that.

9. Her Contentment with Rizq:

No man likes to have a woman who is always complaining about how less her husband earns or how rich her other friends are. A good Muslimah is the one who thank Allah for what He has blessed her with and she is thankful to her husband for what he provides her with. Abu Hurairah RadhiyAllahu anh reported:

The Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “Richness is not the abundance of wealth, rather it is self-sufficiency.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

10. Good Manners:

A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, why she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks. It is related by ‘Abdullah bin Amr that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said:

“The best of you are those who possess the best of manners.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

~*~ Why Do Some People Become Ugly~*~

Have you ever wondered why so many people who were bright and beautiful as children, however, as they grew older their innocence and beauty eluded them? Well, wonder no more – Shaykhul-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullaah) explains this phenomena to us:

“The person who is righteous and honest, his honesty is manifest from the radiance on his face, and his honesty can be known from the glow that is on his face, likewise the (opposite for the) sinful one and the liar. The older a person gets, the more this sign becomes apparent. Thus a person as a child would have a bright face, however if he becomes a sinful person, adamant on committing sins, at the older stages in his life, an ugly face would manifest that which he used to internalise, and the opposite is also true. It has been narrated that Ibn Abbaas (radiyallaahu ‘anhu) said,

‘Indeed righteousness illuminates the heart, radiates the face, strengthens the body, increases provision, and produces a love in the hearts of the creation for that person. Whereas sinfulness darkens the heart, greys the face, weakens the body, and produces hatred in the hearts of the creation for that person.’

It is possible that a person may not intentionally lie; he may even be a person who makes great effort in 'Ibaadah (worship) and has Zuhd (abstains from pleasures of this life that are lawful). However he has false, incorrect ‘Aqeedah regarding either Allaah, His religion or His Messenger (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) or His righteous servants. And what is on the inside affects what is on the outside. Thus, this false, incorrect ‘Aqeedah that he thought was true and correct reflects on his face, and his face would be dark in accordance with the level of falsehood he possesses. As it has been narrated that ‘Uthmaan ibn Affaan (radiyallaahu ‘anhu) said,

‘No one ever hides evil within themselves except that Allaah makes it manifest from his facial outlook and the statements his tongues utters.’

Hence some of the Salaf (pious predecessors) used to say,

‘If a person of innovation were to dye his beard every day, the dye of innovation would remain on his face.’

On the day of judgment this would be very clear as Allaah says, “And on the Day of Resurrection you will see those who lied against Allaah their faces will be black. Is there not in Hell an abode for the arrogant ones?” [Sooratuz-Zumar, 39:60]

He ta’ala also said, “On the Day when some faces will become white and some faces will become black; as for those whose faces will become dark (to them will be said): "Did you reject Faith after accepting it? Then taste the torment for rejecting Faith.” [Soorah Aali-Imraan, 3:106]

Ibn Abbaas and others have said regarding this verse,

‘The bright faces will be of the ahlus-sunnah (people of the Sunnah), and the dark faces will be of the people of bid’ah (innovation) and division.’”

By Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah

Reference: Aj-Jawaab as-Saheeh’ (Vol.4, pg. 306-307)

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~*~Never Underestimate Your Husband's Good Deed....No Matter How He Does It ~*~

A beautiful woman wanted to get married, but she wanted a very pious husband, so she said that she’ll marry the man who recites the whole Quran every single day, fasts for the whole year and stays awake and worships Allah all throughout the night.

One man stepped forward and said he could fulfil them. So the Imam got both of them married.

After the first night of the marriage, the wife sees that the husband doesn’t recite the whole of the Quran, nor does he fast, nor does he stay awake in the worship of Allah, she decided to let it roll on for a few weeks to see if there were any changes, there weren’t, so she filed a complaint that her husband did not fulfil her condition of marriage and asked for a divorce.

The Judge asked, ‘ did you fulfil them? The man calmly answered, ‘…yes.’

The judge answers, ‘you lie, your wife has said that you don’t, that’s why she’s asking for a divorce’.

But the man insisted that he had fulfilled the conditions, so the judge asked, ‘did you recite the full Quran everyday?’ The man answered yes. The Judge, baffled asked, ‘how? How can you do that?’ The man coolly answered, ‘I recite Surah Ikhlas three times a day and according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), reciting Surah Ikhlas three times is equivalent to reciting the whole Quran.’ The Judge was intrigued, so he asked, ‘how did you fast the whole year?’ The man answered, ‘ I fasted for the whole month of Ramadan, then kept another six fasts in the month of Shawwal, according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), keeping all of the fast of Ramadan then keeping six fasts in the month of Shawwal, is as if you have fasted for the whole year.’

The Judge remained silent, he couldn’t give a reply saying the man was wrong, so finally he asked, ‘ how did you stay awake all night and worship Allah, when your wife saw you sleeping?’ The Judge thought the man wouldn’t be able to answer this one, but the man, cool as a cucumber answered, ‘I prayed Salatul Isha with jamaat, then the next day prayed Salatul Fajr with jamaat, according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), the one who prays Salatul Isha and Salatul Fajr with jamaat, it is as if he had stayed up all night worshipping Allah.’

The Judge sat there looking at the man; the final verdict was about to be released…

He said to the man and his wife, ‘…go, just go, there is nothing wrong with this marriage’…

~*~Eight lies of mother ~*~

1. The story began when I was a child; I was a son of a poor family in Africa. We did not even have enough food.  Whenever meal times came, mother would often give me her portion of rice. While she was removing her rice into my bowl, she would say "Eat this rice, son. I'm not hungry". That was Mother's First Lie.

2. When I was growing up, my persevering mother gave her spare time to go fishing in a river near our house, she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could gave me a little bit of nutritious food for my growth. After fishing, she would cook some fresh fish soup, which raised my appetite. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the rest of the fish, which was still on the bone of the fish I had eaten. My heart was touched when I saw that. I then used my chopstick and gave the other fish to her. But she immediately refused and said "Eat this fish, son. I don't really like fish." That was Mother's Second Lie.

3. Then, when I was in Junior High School...... to fund my studies, mother went to an economic enterprise to bring some used-match boxes that would need to be stuck together. It gave her some money to cover our needs. As the winter came, I woke up from my sleep and looked at my mother who was still awake, supported by a little candlelight and with perseverance she would continue the work of sticking some used-match boxes. I said, "Mother, go to sleep, it's late, tomorrow morning you still have to go to work." Mother smiled and said "Go to sleep, dear. I'm not tired." That was Mother's Third Lie.

4. The final term arrived.......mother asked for leave from work in order to accompany me. While the sun was starting to shine strongly, my persevering mother waited for me under the heat for several hours. As the bell rang, which indicated that the final exam had finished, mother immediately welcomed me and poured me a cup of tea that she had brought in a flask. Seeing my mother covered with perspiration, I at once gave her my cup and asked her to drink too. Mother said "Drink, son. I'm not thirsty ! ”  That was Mother's Fourth Lie.

5. After the death of my father due to illness, my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent. She had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. No days without suffering. Our family's condition was getting worse, a kind uncle who lived near our house assisted now and then. Our neighbours, often advised my mother to marry again. But mother was stubborn and didn't take their advice; she said "I don't need love." That was Mother's Fifth Lie.

6. After I had finished my studies and got a job, it was the time for my old mother to retire. But she didn't want to; she would go to the marketplace every morning, just to sell some vegetables to fulfill her needs. I, who worked in another city, often sent her some money to help her, in fulfilling her needs, but she would not accept the money. At times, she even sent the money back to me. She said "I have enough money." That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

7. After graduating with a Bachelors Degree, I then continued to do a Masters Degree. It was funded by a company through a scholarship program, from a famous University in America. I finally worked in the company. With a good salary, I intended to bring my mother to enjoy her life in America. But my lovely mother didn't want to bother her son. She said to me, "I'm not use to."  That was Mother's Seventh Lie.

8. In her old age, mother got stomach cancer and had to be hospitalized. I, who lived miles away, across the ocean, went home to visit my dearest mother. She lay in weakness on her bed after having an operation. Mother, who looked so old, was staring at me in deep thought. She tried to spread her smile on her face...but it was a noticeable effort. It was clear that the disease had weakened mother's body. She looked so frail and weak. I stared at my mother with tears flowing. My heart was hurt,….. so hurt, seeing my mother in that condition. But mother with the little strength she had, said "Don't cry, my dear. I'm not in pain." That was Mother's Eighth Lie.

After saying her eighth lie, my Dearest mother closed her eyes forever !

                                   *****************
Abdullah ibn Umar(radhiyallahu anhu), once saw a man from Yemen carrying his mother on his back and going around the Kaaba in his tawaaf. Rather than showing any sign of complaint, the man was happy, repeating a line of poetry in which he likened himself to a camel his mother was mounting. He looked at Abdullah ibn Umar (radhiyallahu anhu) and asked him. Whether by doing so he discharged his debt to his mother. Ibn Umar(R.A.) said: No, you have not even paid back one twinge of her labor pain when she gave birth to you."

Taken from Inspirations Volume 4 (AL-Islaah Publications )

~*~Modesty Is Always Beautiful~*~

 1. Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) passed by a man of the Ansar who was admonishing his brother regarding shyness. Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "Leave him alone, for modesty is a part of Iman.'' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary:  The Ansari, who was being lectured by his brother, was indeed an embodiment of modesty and unpretentiousness. Such a man is never sharp in worldly affairs because modesty restrains him from following wrong ways. For this reason, modesty has been called a part of the faith. This is an inborn quality, that is, some people are unassertive by birth. Yet, if they are gradually guided and directed towards virtues, their unassumingness further increases. And in Islam it is counted a virtue.

2. `Imran bin Husain (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "Shyness does not bring anything except good.' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

In a narration of Muslim: Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "All of shyness is good.''

Commentary:  This Hadith enlightens us on the excellence of modesty, which serves the good purpose of preventing man from the disobedience of Allah and from immoral and evil pursuits. Evidently, it has a salutary impact on society. Besides, it keeps man free from sins, and, consequently, he will stand blameless with Allah. From this standpoint, modesty is certainly a thorough good.

3. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "Iman has sixty odd or seventy odd branches. The uppermost of all these is the Testimony of Faith: `La ilaha illallah' (there is no true god except Allah) while the least of them is the removal of harmful object from the road. And shyness is a branch of Iman.'' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary:  This Hadith has already occurred in a previous chapter, see commentary on Hadith No. 125. Here it has been repeated with reference to the degrees of Faith. Modesty, too, is a part of Faith, rather one of its most important ingredients, because it plays an effective role in the training and sublimation of human psyche.

4. Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) was even shier than a virgin behind her veil. When he saw something which he disliked, we could perceive it on his face. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary:  Though this Hadith particularly refers to the character of  Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam), it also reveals the fact that modesty is a peculiar quality of woman. An unmarried woman, above all else, is considered to be the embodiment of bashfulness. Islamic countries have witnessed many curses of western civilization and the worst is the one which has robbed away the modesty of woman because it is the last protective shield of Islamic civilization which the enemy is consistently sweeping off. May Allah grant Muslims the insight to avert this wickedness!

 Imam an-Nawawi's Riyad-us-Saliheen

~*~'Awrah Of A Muslimah In Front Of Other Muslimah~*~

Clarification on the ‘Awrah and the Covering of Women
in the Presence of Other Women and Mahrams.


Clarification on the ‘Awrah and the Covering All Praise is due to Allaah, and may the salaah and salaam be on Prophet Muhammad, his household, the noble companions and those who follow them until the Day of Resurrection.

Shaykh, Muhammad ibn Saalih al-'Uthaimeen (rahimahullaah), was asked:“There is a phenomenon with some women, wearing short and tightdresses which expose their features and dresses without sleeves exposing the chest and back, appearing almost naked. When we advise them, they say that they do not wear such clothes except in the presence of other women and that the ‘awrah *1 of the woman in front of other women is from the navel to the knee. What is the ruling regarding this, and what is the ruling regarding wearing these types of clothes in front of mahrams *2 ? May Allaah (subhannahu wa ta’ala)reward you abundantly on behalf of the Muslims and Muslimat and magnify your reward.”

1.'Awrah: The private parts that must be covered.

2.Mahaarim pl. of mahram a husband and a woman's male siblings who are not lawful for her to marry.

He (rahimahullaah) answered: The answer for this is to say that it is authentically narrated [by Abu Huraira, radiallaahu 'anhu] that the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“Two are the types amongst the denizens of Hell whom I have never seen, the one possessing whips like the tail of an ox, and they flog people with them.

(The second one) women kasiyatun 'aariyaat: who would be naked in spite of their being dressed, who are seduced (to wrong paths) and seduce others with their hair high like humps. These women would not get into Paradise, and they would not perceive its odor, although its fragrance can be perceived from such and such distance (from a great distance).” [Reported by Muslim, hadith no.6840; see also hadith no. 5310]

The people of knowledge interpreted the phrase kasiyatun 'aariyaat (dressed but naked)” as those women who put on tight, short, or light clothes that do not shield what is underneath.In addition, Shaykh al-Islam ibn Taymiyyah mentioned that the clothes of women in their homes at the time of the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) covered what is between the ankle and the palm; when they would leave for the market, it is known that the women of the companions used to wear overflowing dresses that were so long that the lower end of the dress would drag on the earth. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) made it permissible for them to lower the end of their garment to extend to an arm’s span, without exceeding that.

However, what became unclear to some women of the saying of the Prophet(sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam),“No man should look at the ‘awrah of another man, and no womanshould look at the ‘awrah of another woman.” [Reported by Muslim,hadith no. 338]

and of ‘awrah of the woman with respect to other women being from her navel to her knee led them to the [false] conclusion that this indicates that it is permissible to wear short clothes. However, the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) did not say,

“The dress of a woman is between the navel and the knee, ” such that it would be taken as an an evidence. On the contrary, he said, “no woman should look at the ‘awrah of another woman.” Therefore, he forbade the one who looks because the one who wears over flowing clothes may accidentally uncover her private parts because of a need or for some other reason.

Similarly, when the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “No man should look at the ‘awrah of another man,” did the companions then wear izar (waist garments) from the navel to the knee or pants from the navel to the knee? Is it now sound for a woman to go out and meet other women having on nothing except that which shields the area from the navel to the knee? No one says this; this is not the case, except with the women of the kufar. So those women who understood otherwise from this hadith are incorrect. The hadith’s meaning is obvious and apparent. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam)) did not say, "“The dress of a woman is between the navel and the knee."

So women should fear Allaah (subhannahu wa ta’ala) and assume shyness and bashfulness, which is from the characteristics of the woman; this is from iman (faith) as the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said,

“Modesty is a branch of faith” [Reported by Muslim, hadith no. 56]

Likewise, we know the parable:

“More bashful than a woman kept in her private quarter.”

Not even the women of the pre-Islamic era [Jahilliyah] used to shield only that which was between the navel and the knee; this was not even the case with men in that time.

Do these women want the Muslim woman to be in a worse situation than the women of Jahilliyah?

In summary, the dress is something and looking at the ‘awrah is something else. The legal dress of the woman in front of other women should cover that which is between the ankle and the palm. However, if the woman needs to tuck up her dress for work or something else, then she may tuck it all the way to the knee. Similarly, if she needs to roll up her sleeves all the way to the shoulder, then she may do so as needed only.

However, to make this her normal dress then it is not allowed, and the hadith does not indicate this under any circumstances. That is why the address was to the one looking, not the one being looked at, and the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) mentioned absolutely nothing about the dress. He did not say, "“The dress of a woman is between the navel and the knee," such that this would constitute a pretext for the misunderstanding by those women.

With respect to looking by mahrams, then the ruling is the same as looking of a woman at a woman, meaning it is permissible for the woman to uncover in front of her mahrams that which she uncovers in front of other women, namely the head, neck, feet, hands, arms, shins, and so forth. But she must not make her dress short.


By Sh. Muhammad bin Salih Al-'Uthaimeen(rahimahullaah)
Prepared by Saleh As-Saleh

~*~Nurturing Marital Love~*~

 

My Husband  bounded up the stairs so energetically that it was hard for me to believe that here was a man of more than eighty years. He had the vitality of a youth. Then I learned the reason why:

Though he had gotten married back in 1947 when he was about thirty years old, he was able to say to me: “I do not recall that I ever once got angry with my wife or that she was even once annoyed with me. And if I had a headache, it was impossible for her to sleep until after I fell asleep.”

Then he said with feeling: “I can never think of going out somewhere, even to purchase some household needs, without taking her with me and holding her hand. It is as if we are newlyweds.”

When, due to a medical operation, she had become unable to bear children, he said to her: “You are more precious to me than children.”

He told me: “As long as she walks upon the Earth, I could never even think of marrying anyone else.”

That man is a good example of how devotion can last even into old age. Unfortunately, when we look at the state of the majority of people of any age, we can appreciate that his relationship is a rarity indeed, a sort of ideal.

Of course, we do not have to be held to such an ideal. Moreover, we should not go to our spouses and expect them to be like that when we ourselves have so many shortcomings.

Marriage is love and affection. Allah says: “He created for you mates from among yourselves so that you can seek comfort in them and He has placed between you affection and mercy.” [Sûrah al-Rûm: 21]
This is why each sex is drawn to the other in the first place, as if each person is looking for his missing other half.

When the wife of the famous jurist Abû Rabî`ah died, he carried out her burial himself and had to wipe the dirt from his own hands. However, when he returned home, he was overcome with grief and lamented to his Lord, his eyes filling with tears: “Now…my home has died as well. The home only lives for the woman who dwells inside it.”

Marital love requires extraordinary effort from both parties if it is to last and remain vital. The difficulty of marital love does not lie in those small disagreements that are a normal part of everyday life and that all couples have to work out. Indeed, such problems sometimes revitalize the relationship, like spice in a savory dish.

The real problem lies in three things: 

 
1.The inability of one person to understand the other. Indeed sometimes a person even has difficulty understanding his own self.
2. The inability of a person to adapt to the partnership that is marriage and the inability to cope with the life changes that it brings. Many people expect things to remain the same as they were before.
3.The most important problem is a lack of commitment to the relationship and to making it last.

This is why it is necessary for people to understand “the rules of the game” when it comes to love.

Ten ways to achieve lasting love:

 
Since marital love is prone to sickness and even death, it is imperative for couples to constantly work to revitalize and preserve it.

Husbands and wives must do the following:

 
1. They have to get in the habit of saying things that are positive, like offering compliments and like making little prayers for each other.

A husband could say to his wife: “If I were sent back to the days of my youth, I would not choose for a wife anyone besides you.” Of course, the wife can easily say something similar to her husband.

Affectionate words have an effect, especially on women. They have, indeed, often been the weapons used by unscrupulous men to gain access to what is not theirs.

Sweet words arouse a woman’s heart. A husband should take care to say them to his wife before someone else does.

2. Husbands and wives have to get into the habit of doing those little things that mean so much. If a man comes home to find his wife asleep, he can cover her and tuck her into bed.

A husband can give his wife a call from work just to say hello and to let her know that he is thinking about her.

If a wife finds that her husband has fallen asleep, she can give him a little kiss on the forehead, even if she thinks that he will not be aware of it. Indeed, on some level his senses are working even though he is asleep and he may very well be aware of it.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) emphasized the value of these little things, “…even the morsel of food that you place in your wife’s mouth…” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]

It may very well be that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was alluding to the expenditure of a man for his wife’s needs. Nonetheless, the Prophet (peace be upon him) chose to express it in the way he did for a reason. Most importantly, this is the way the Prophet peace be upon him) conducted himself with his family.

This type of behavior is governed by the tastes of the people involved. It may take some getting used to, but it really does not take a lot of effort.

A person who is not accustomed to such things may feel embarrassed just hearing about them and may prefer to leave matters the way they are rather than try to change his behavior and do things that he might see as ridiculous.

Still, we must be willing introduce new habits into our lives if we do not want our problems to go on forever.

3. The husband and wife must set aside time to talk to each other. They should talk about the past; reminisce about the good times. Talking about them keeps them fresh in our minds as if they had happened only yesterday. They should talk about the future and share their hopes and their plans. They should also talk about the present, both the good and bad of it, and discuss different ways to solve their problems.

4. Keeping close physical contact is good for the relationship. This is not just for times of intimacy, but at all times, like when sitting in the lounge or walking down the street. This is regardless of the fact that there are still men in our society who are ashamed to have people see them walking in public with their wives at their sides.

5. Emotional support should be guaranteed whenever it is required. When the wife is pregnant or on her monthly period, she may need her husband to lend her a little moral support. He should take her mental state into consideration. Medical experts attest to the fact that when women go through pregnancy, menstruation, or postpartum bleeding, they suffer from psychological stress that can aversely affect their behavior. It is at times like these that a woman needs her husband’s support. She needs him to let her know how much she means to him and how much he needs her in his life.

Likewise, the husband might fall ill or come under a lot of difficulties. The wife must take these things into consideration. If people want their relationship to last, they must let each other feel that support.

6. There have to be some material expressions of love. Gifts should be given, sometimes without there being any occasion for it, since a pleasant surprise is always welcome. A good gift is one that expresses feelings of affection. It does not have to be expensive, but it has to be appropriate for the other’s tastes and personality; something that will be cherished.

7. The husband and wife have to learn how to be more tolerant of each other and overlook one another’s shortcomings. It should become a habit to forget about the little mistakes of daily life and not even bring them up. Silence in these trivialities is a sign of noble character.

A woman said to `آ’ishah: “When my husband comes home, he becomes like a cat. When he goes out, he becomes like a lion. He does not ask about what might have happened.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]

Ibn Hajar explains her words as follows:
They might mean that he is very generous and tolerant. He does not make a big fuss about what goes missing of his wealth. If he brings something for the house, he does not enquire about it later on. He does not make an issue of the shortcomings that he might see at home but instead is clement and tolerant.

It is wrong to go overboard in considering the faults of others but when it comes to ourselves, keep a running account of all our good qualities.

There is a tradition that goes: “One of you sees the dust in his brother’s eyes and forgets about the dirt in his own.”

8. A husband and wife must come to an understanding when it comes to matters of mutual concern, like the raising of children, work, travel, expenses, and problems that might pose a threat to the marital relationship.

9. Husbands and wives need to do things to liven up their relationship. Each one of them can read a book or listen to a cassette that might give them some ideas on how they can revitalize their marital life and bring more meaning to it. They can vary their habits when it comes to relaxing together, dining, taking refreshments, decorating their home, and in relating to each other both openly and intimately. These are the things that keep up the excitement and interest in a relationship.

10. The relationship must be protected from negative influences that can harm it. One of the worst of these is the habit of comparing one’s spouse to others. Many men tend to compare their wives to those of other men. Some even compare them with the faces they see in magazines and on television. Women also compare their husbands with other women’s husbands in things like wealth, looks, and how many times he takes her out. All of this makes people feel bad and insufficient and it can ruin the marital relationship.

If we must compare ourselves to others, we should do so with those who have less going for them than ourselves. Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Look towards those who are beneath you and do not look towards those who are above you. This is better so that you do not belittle Allah’s blessings.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]

We must accustom ourselves to living in the real world and to finding contentment in what Allah has decreed for us. We should not look longingly at what others have been given. Whatever little that we have will be a lot if we utilize it well.

It is quite possible that many who speak about their marital bliss and go on boasting about their husbands and wives are untruthful in what they say. They just like to brag.

The grass often does seem greener on the other side, but only because we are not looking at it up close. 

By Salmaan ibn Fahd al-'Awdah

~*~ No Excuse. Make It Happen. Wear Hijab~*~

1. I'm not yet convinced of the necessity of the Hijab... 

We then ask this sister two questions. 

1.      Is she truly convinced of the correctness of the religion of Islam?
The natural answer is: Yes, she is convinced for she responds "La ilaha illallah!" (There is no god but Allah), meaning she is convinced of the aqidah, and then she says: "Muhammadur rasulullah!" (Muhammad [SAW] is the Messenger of Allah), meaning by that that she is convinced of its legislation or law (shari'ah). Therefore, she is convinced of Islam as a belief system and a law by which one governs and rules their life. 

2.      Is the hijab then a part of Islamic Law (shari'ah) and an obligation?
If this sister is honest and sincere in her intention and has looked into the issue as one who truly wants to know the truth her answer could only be: Yes. For Allah ta'ala, Whose deity (Uluhiyyah) she believes in has commanded wearing hijab in His Book (Al-Qur'an) and the Noble Prophet ('alaihi salat wa salam) whose message she believes in has commanded wearing the hijab in his sunnah. 

What do we call a person who says they believe in and are content with the correctness of Islam but who nonetheless does not do what Allah or His Messenger have ordered? Certainly they can in no way be described as those whom Allah speaks of in this ayah: 

The only saying of the faithful believers when they are called to Allah and His Messenger to judge between them is that they say 'we hear and obey' and such are the successful. [Soorah An-Noor 24:51] 

In summary: If this sister is convinced of Islam, how then can she not be convinced of its orders?

*
2. I am convinced of the Islamic dress but my mother prevents me from wearing it and if I disobey her I will go to Hell... 

The one who has answered this excuse is the most noble of Allah's creation, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) in concise and comprehensive words of wisdom: There is no obedience to the created in the disobedience of Allah.[Ahmed] 

The status of parents in Islam, especially the mother, is a high and elevated one. Indeed Allah ta'ala has combined it with the greatest of matters, worshipping Him and His tawheed, in many ayat. He stated: Worship Allah and join none with Him and do good to parents.[Soorah An-Nisa 4:36] Obedience to parents is not limited except in one aspect, and that is if they order to disobedience of Allah. Allah said: But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not.[Soorah Luqman 31:15] The lack of obedience to them in sinfulness does not prevent being good to them and kind treatment of them. Allah said afterward in the same ayah: But behave with them in the world kindly. 

In summary: How can you obey your mother and disobey Allah Who created you and your mother?

*
3. My position does not allow me to substitute my dress for the Islamic dress...

This sister is either one or the other of two types: She is sincere and honest, or she is a slippery liar who desires to make a showy display of her "hijab" clamouring with colours to be "in line with the times" and expensive. 

We will begin with an answer to the honest and sincere sister. Are you unaware my dear sister, that it is not permissible for the Muslim woman to leave her home in any instance unless her clothing meets the conditions of Islamic hijab (Hijab shar'ee) and it is a duty of every Muslim woman to know what they are? If you have taken the time and effort to learn so many matters of this world how then can you be neglectful of learning those matters which will save you from the punishment of Allah and His anger after death!!? Does Allah not say: 

Ask the people of remembrance (i.e. knowledgeable scholars) if you do not know. [Soorah An-Nahl 16:43]. 

Learn, therefore, the requirements of proper hijab. 

If you must go out, then do not do so without the correct hijab, seeking the pleasure of Allah and the degradation of Shaitan. That is because the corruption brought about by your going out adorned and "beautified" is far greater than the matter which you deem necessary to go out for.

My dear sister if you are really truthful in your intention and correctly determined you will find a thousands hands of good assisting you and Allah will make the matter easy for you! Is He not the One Who says:And whoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty) and He will provide him from sources he never could imagine[Soorah At-Talaq 65:2-3]? 

With regards to the 'slippery' one we say: Honour and position is something determined by Allah ta'ala and it is not due to embellishment of clothing and show of colors and keeping up with the trendsetters. It is rather due to obedience to Allah and His Messenger (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) and holding to the pure law of Allah and correct Islamic hijab. Listen to the words of Allah: Indeed, the most honourable amongst you are those who are the most pious. [Soorah Al-Hujurat 49:35] 

In summary: Do things in the way of seeking Allah's pleasure and entering His Jannah and give less value to the high priced and costly objects and wealth of this world.

*
4. It is so hot in my country and I can't stand it. How will it be if I wore Hijab...

 

Allah gives an example by saying: 

Say: The Fire of Hell is more intense in heat if they only understand. [Soorah At-Taubah 9:81] 

How can you compare the heat of your land to the heat of the Hellfire? 

Know, my sister, that Shaitan has trapped you in one of his feeble ropes to drag you from the heat of this world to the heat of the Hellfire. Free yourself from his net and view the heat of the sun as a favor and not an affliction especially in that it reminds you of the intensity of the punishment of Allah which is many times greater than the heat you now feel. Return to the order of Allah and sacrifice this worldly comfort in the way of following the path of salvation from the Hellfire about which Allah says: 

They will neither feel coolness nor have any drink except that of boiling water and the discharge of dirty wounds.[Soorah An-Naba' 78:24-25] 

In summary: The Jannah is surrounded by hardships and toil, while Hellfire is surrounded by temptations, lusts and desires.

*

5. I'm afraid that if I wear the Hijab,I will put it off at a later time because I have seen so many others do so.... 

To her I say: If everyone was to apply your logic then they would have left the Deen in its entirety! They would have left off salat because some would be afraid of leaving it later. They would have left fasting in Ramadhan because so many are afraid of not doing it later. etc. Haven't you seen how Shaitan has trapped you in his snare again and blocked you from guidance? 

Allah ta'ala loves continuous obedience even if it be small or recommended. How about something that is an absolute obligation like wearing hijab?! The prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said: The most beloved deed with Allah is the consistent one though it be little. Why haven't you sought out the causes leading those people to leave off the hijab so that you can avoid them and work to keep away from them? Why haven't you sought out reasons and causes to affirm truth and guidance until you can hold firm to them? 

Among these causes is much supplication to Allah (du'a) to make the heart firm upon the Deen as did the prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam). Also is making salat and having mindfulness of it as Allah stated:And seek helpin patience and the prayer and truly it is extremely heavy except for the true believers in Allah who obey Allah with full submission and believe in His promise of Jannah and in His warnings (Al-Khashi'oon).[Soorah Al-Baqarah 2:45] Other causes to put one upon guidance and truth is adherence to the laws of Islam and one of them is indeed wearing the hijab. Allah said: 

If they had done what they were told, it would have been better for them and would have strengthened their faith. [Soorah Al-Baqarah 2:66] 

In summary: If you hold tight to the causes of guidance and taste the sweetness of faith you will not neglect the orders of Allah after having held to them.

*

6. If I wear the Hijab, then no one will marry me. So, I'm going to put it off till then... 

Any husband, who desires that you be uncovered and adorned in public in defiance of and in disobedience to Allah, is not a worthy husband in the first place. He is a husband who has no feeling to protect what Allah has made inviolable, most notably yourself, and he will not help you in any way to enter Al-Jannah or escape from the Hellfire. A home which is founded upon disobedience to Allah and provocation of His anger is fitting that He decree misery and hardship for it in this life and in the Hereafter. As Allah stated: 

But whosoever turns away from My reminder (i.e. neither believes in the Qur'an nor acts upon its teachings) verily for him is a life of hardship and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection. [Soorah Ta Ha 20:124] 

Marriage is a favour and blessing from Allah to whom He give whom He wills. How many women who wear hijab (mutahajibah) are in fact married while many who don't aren't? If you were to say that '..my being made-up and uncovered is a means to reach a pure end, namely marriage', a pure goal or end is not attained through impure and corrupt means in Islam. If the goal is honourable then it must necessarily be achieved by pure and clean method. We say the rule in Islam is: The means are according to the rules of the intended goals. 

In summary: There is no blessing in a marriage established upon sinfulness and corruption.

*

7. I don't wear hijab based on what Allah says: And proclaim the grace of your Rabb [Soorah Ad-Dhuha 93:11] How can I cover what Allah has blessed me with of silky soft hair and captivating beauty? 

So, this sister of ours adheres to the Book of Allah and its commands as long as they coincide with her personal desires and understanding! She leaves behind those matters when they don't please her. If this was not the case, then why doesn't she follow the ayah: 

And do not show off their adornment except only that which is apparent
[Soorah An-Noor 24:31] 

and the statement of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala: 

Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks all over their bodies [Soorah Al-Ahzab 33:59]? 

With this statement my sister you have now made a shari'ah (law) for yourself of what Allah ta'ala has strictly forbidden, namely beautification (at-tabarruj) and uncovering (as-sufur), and the reason: Your lack of wanting to adhere to the order. The greatest blessing or favor that Allah has bestowed upon us is that of Iman (faith) and hidayah (guidance) and among them is the Islamic hijab. Why then do you not manifest and talk about this greatest of blessings given to you?

In summary: Is there a greater blessing and favor upon the woman than guidance and hijab?

*

8. I know that hijab is obligatory (wajib), but I will wear it when Allah guides me to do so...

 

We ask this sister on what plans or steps she will undertake until she accepts this divine guidance? We know that Allah has in His wisdom made a cause or means for everything. That is why the sick take medicine to regain health, and the traveler rides a vehicle or an animal to reach his destination, and other limitless examples. 

Has this sister of ours seriously endeavoured to seek true guidance and exerted the proper means to get it such as: Supplicating Allah sincerely as He stated: Guide us to the Straight Path. [Soorah Al-Fatihah 1:6]; Keeping company with the righteous good sisters - for they are among the best to assist her to guidance and to continue to point her to it until Allah guides her and increases her guidance and inspires her to further guidance and taqwa. She would then adhere to the orders of Allah and wear the hijab that the believing women are commanded to wear. 

In summary: If this sister was really serious about seeking guidance she would have exerted herself by the proper means to get it.

*

9. It's not time for that yet. I'm still too young for wearing hijab. I'll do it when I get older and after I make Hajj!

The Angel of Death, my sister, is visiting and waiting at your door for the order of Allah Ta'ala to open it on you at any moment in your life. Allah said: When their term comes, neither can they delay it nor can they advance it and hour (or a moment). [Soorah Al-An'am 7:34]. Death my sister doesn't discriminate between the young or the old and it may come while you are in this state of great sinfulness disobedience, fighting against the Lord of Honor with your uncovering and shameless adornment. My sister, you should race to obedience along with those others who race to answer the call of Allah tabaraka wa ta'ala: 

Race with one another in hastening towards forgiveness from your Lord and Paradise the width whereof is as the width of the heavens and the earth. [Soorah Al-Hadeed 57:21] 

Sister, don't forget Allah or He will forget you by turning His mercy away from you in this life and the next. You are forgetting your own soul by not fulfilling the right of your soul to obey Allah and proper worship of Him. Allah stated about the hypocrites (Al-Munafiqoon): And be not like those who forgot Allah and He caused them to forget their own selves.[Soorah Al-Hashr 59:19] My sister wear the hijab in your young age in opposition to the sinful deed because Allah is intense in punishment and will ask you on the Day of Resurrection about your youth and every moment of your life.

In summary: Stop presuming some future expectation in your life will indeed occur!! How can you guarantee your own life until tomorrow?

*

10. I'm afraid that if I wear Islamic clothing that I'll be labelled as belonging to some group or another and I hate partisanship...

 

My sisters in Islam, there are only two parties in Islam, and they are both mentioned by Allah Almighty in His Noble Book. The first party is the party of Allah (hizbullah) that He gives victory to because of their obedience to His commands and staying away from what He has forbidden. The second party is the party of the accursed Shaitan (hizbush-Shaitan) which disobeys the Most Merciful and increase corruption in the earth. When you hold tight to and adhere to the commands of Allah, and among them is wearing the hijab - you then become a part of the successful party of Allah. When you beautify and display your charms you are riding in the boat of Shaitan and his friends and partners from among the hypocrites and the disbelievers and none worse could there be as friends. 

Don't you see how you are running from Allah and to the Shaitan, trading filth for good? Run instead my sister to Allah and follow His way: So flee to Allah (from His Torment to His mercy). Verily I (Muhammad) am a plain Warner to you from Him.[Soorah Adh-Dhariyat 51:50] The hijab is a high form of worship that is not subject to the opinions of people and their orientations and choices because the one who legislated it is the Most Wise Creator. 

In summary: In the way of seeking the pleasure of Allah and in hope of His Mercy and success in His Jannah and throw the statements of the devils among people and jinn against the wall! Hold tight to the legislation of Allah by your molars and follow the example of the striving and knowledgeable Mothers of the Believers and the female companions (radiallahu 'anhum ajma'een).

Conclusion

Your body is on display in the market of Shaitan seducing the hearts of men. The hairstyles, the tight clothing showing every detail of your figure, the short dresses showing off your legs and feet, the showy, decorative and fragrant clothing all angers the Merciful and pleases the Shaitan. Every day that passes while you are in this condition, distances you further from Allah and brings you closer to Shaitan. Every day brings you closer to the grave and the Angel of Death is ready to capture your soul. 

Every soul shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Hellfire and admitted to Al-Jannah, is indeed successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing) [Soorah Ale 'Imran 3:185] 

Sisters! As regards Hijab its the commandment of our Lord Allah! ALLAH will NEVER disappoint you!

Act today as we never know if we''ll have a tomorrow to fulfil this command of our ALLAH! 

~*~ How Should A Muslimah Treat Her Sisters In Islam? ~*~

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

  In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful 

1. Muslimah loves her sisters in islam for the sake of Allah  

This is a love untainted by any worldly interests or ulterior motives. True sisterly love is a relationship whose purity is derived from the light of Islamic guidance (Dr. Muhammad A. al-Hashimi). It is a bond that links a Muslims to her sister reg...ardless of geographical origins, ethnicity, skin color, hair form, eye shape, or language. (It is) a bond based upon faith in Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) Who is greater than all our little petty divisions. 

"The Believers are but a single brotherhood…." [Al-Hujuraat 49:10]  

A love which is an expression of the sweetness of faith:

"There are three things that whoever attains them will find the sweetness of faith: if Allah and His Messenger are dearer to him than anyone else; if he loves a person solely for the sake of Allah; if he would hate to return to kufr after Allah has rescued him from it, as much as he would hate be thrown into the Fire." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]  

So this is not love for the sake of status, notoriety, or fame. It is a love that requires a clean heart, a light heart, a soft and pliable heart. 

 In the hadeeth of Mu'adh reported by at-Tirmidhi, the Prophet (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam) said: "Allah said: `Those who love one another for My glory, will have minbars of light, and the Prophets and martyrs will wish that they had the same" [hasan saheeh hadeeth]  

This kind of love is the only way to eliminate hatred, jealousy, and rivalry from peoples hearts. 

 2. She shows them kindness, faithfulness, and equity  

The importance of kindness is mentioned hundreds of times in the Qur'aan! Islam instills in its followers the characteristic of kindness and faithfulness towards one's friends, including the parents of one's friends. The seerah is filled with examples of kindness and faithfulness among the early believers. If you remember the story concerning our mother `Aaisha (radiallahu `anhaa) who used to become upset with Rasoolullah (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam) because he used to extend himself to the friends of his late first wife, Khadijah (radiallahu `anhaa). He (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam) spoke highly of Khadijah (radiallahu `anhaa) and sometimes he would slaughter a sheep and send a large portion to Khadijah's friends.

  3. She meets them with a warm, friendly, smiling face  

In Muslim it is reported our beloved Prophet (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam) said: "Do not think little of any good deed, even if it is just greeting your brother with a cheerful countenance."  

The act of smiling actually stimulates the secretion of certain chemicals (endorphins) that increase our sense of well-being.

  "Your smiling at your brother is an act of charity (sadaqah)" [reported by at-Tirmidhi who said it is hasan gharib)

 

 4. She is sincere towards them  

Sincerity is one of the most basic principles of Islam and a central foundation of the faith. Without sincerity, a sister's faith is invalid and her Islam is worthless. When the first believers gave allegiance (bay'ah) to the Prophet (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam), they pledged their sincerity. This is confirmed by the statement of Jarir ibn `Abdullah (radiallahu `anhu): "I gave allegiance to the Prophet (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam) and pledged to observe regular prayer, to pay zakat and to be sincere towards every Muslim." [Agreed upon]  Furthermore,

  

our beloved Prophet (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam) said: "None of you truly believes until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself"

 

[Agreed upon] It is impossible to do this without sincerity. 

 5. She does not forsake or abandon her sister(s)  

The religion that calls for love, continued contact, and mutual affection is also the religion (Islam) that has forbidden sisters in faith to hate or abandon one another.

It is reported by al-Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad: "No two people who love one another for the sake of Allah, or for the sake of Islam, will let the first minor offense of either of them come between them."  

This hadith and others tell us that prolonged estrangement from our sister is not acceptable. The longer the estrangement lasts (3 days or more) the greater the sin and the more severe is the punishment that will befall the two who are split by the dispute. Reconciliation among sisters-in-Islam is encouraged and the better of the two (disputing) Muslimahs is the first to give salaam.

 The Prophet (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam) said: "There should be no breaking off of ties, no turning away from one another, no hating one another, and no envying one another. Be brothers, as Allah has commanded you." [Muslim]  

The great Sahabi Abu Darda (radiallahu 'anhu) used to say: "Shall I not tell you about something that is better for you than charity and fasting? Reconcile between your brothers, for hatred diminishes reward." (reported by al-Bukhari in Ad-Adab al-Mufrad)  

6. She is tolerant and forgiving towards them  

Sometimes it seems so easy to become angry with our sisters in Islam about just about anything. However, the true Muslim restrains her anger and is quick to forgive her sister, and does not see any shame in doing so. Rather, she recognizes this as a good dead that can bring her closer to Allah and earn her His love which He bestows only on those who do good: 

"…[those] who restrain anger and pardon (all) men – for Allah loves those who do good." [Al-`Imran 3:134]

 

 7. She does not gossip about or backbite them  

The believing woman does not gossip about or backbite her sisters in Islam. She knows that gossip is haraam as the

Qur'an says: "…. Nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor it. But fear Allah: for Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful." [al-Hujuraat 49:12]  

The believing woman restrains her tongue and speaks only good of her sister, remembering the 

words of the Prophet (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam): "Do you know what gossip is? They said, `Allah and His Messenger know best.' He said, `It is your saying about your brother something which he dislikes." He was asked, `What do you think if what I say about my brother is true?' He said, `If it is true then you have gossiped about him and if it not true then you have slandered him." [Muslim] 

 

Being two-faced is an aspect of this. In fact the two-faced person is regarded as being one of the worst people in the sight of Allah. 

Our beloved Prophet (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam) said: "You will find among the worst people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection, the one who is two-faced, who approaches some people in one way and others in another." [al-Bukhari & Muslim]  

8. She avoids arguing with them, making hurtful jokes, and breaking promises 

 It is reported by al-Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad that our Prophet (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam) said: "Do not argue with your brother, do not joke excessively with him, do not make a promise to him then break it." 

 Arguing leads to further misunderstanding, rigidity, and is an easy opening for Iblis; hurtful jokes often lead to hatred and loss of respect; and breaking promises upset people and destroys love. We need to learn to be able to "back off" to not have the final say, to sometimes just "agree to disagree" until the matter can be resolved by someone with more knowledge. The kind of posturing and gesticulation that poisons so many disagreements is leftover jahl (ignorance). We need to run away from this. 

9. She is generous and self-sacrificing   

The Muslimah prefers friendship with a Muslim over the non-Muslim. The bond of common belief forms the foundation for generosity, a basic Islamic characteristic. 

We are entreated by Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) to be "… lowly [or humble] with the believers, mighty against the kafirun …" [al-Maidah 5:54]  

10. She prays for her sisters in their absence  

The sincere Muslimah who truly likes for her sister what she likes for herself does not forget to pray for her sister in her absence. This is a practical demonstration of sisterly love and care. A sincere, pure prayer of this kind is the kind most quickly answered. 

It is reported by al-Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad that "The quickest prayer to be answered is a man's supplication for his brother in his absence."

 

 11. She encourages her sisters in all that is pleasing to Allah  

Wanting For Your Sister What You Want For Yourself  Application and Practice  Get to know each others names, talents, skills, families, goals, background  Seek out each other – integrate each other into each other's lives, make space for your sister-in-Islam regardless of her background.  Remember the strategies of the Ansar and Muhajiroon. Follow the guidance of our righteous predecessors.  Be less judgmental about superficial issues, concentrate on the most important aspects of the deen.  Assume the best, not the worst about your sister in Islam. Don't be hasty in reaching unfavorable judgements.  Avoid cynicism and sarcasm.  Respect cross-cultural differences that do not impact upon the practice of Islam.  Extend friendship, humility, kindness, equity and generosity to those sisters of a different culture, starting with the person closest to you. We are all potentially overwhelmed by some aspects of jaahiliya society.  Extend your hand and your heart to a fellow Muslimah.  Make Islam your primary identity, since your adherence to Islam is the only thing that will save you on the Day Of Resurrection.