~*~ Not Everyone Is Suitable To Be Your Friend ~*~

It is after seeing a lot of hypocritical  mannerism, God fearless attitude of friends and betrayal

 I have perceived this reality as mentioned  in Al-Quran and Gems of Scholars:

1 – Allah Said:

{“Ah! Woe to me! If only I had never taken so-and-so as a friend! He indeed led 

me astray from the Reminder after it had come to me!”} [al-Furqan; 28-29]

2 – The Messenger of Allah(Sal Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said:
“A person is upon the way of his friend. So, let one of you look to whom he keeps as a friend.” - [‘Sahih al-Jami" (3545) and ‘as-Silsilah as-Sahihah' (927)]

3 – ‘Abdullah bin Ahmad bin Hanbal{rahimahullah} said:
"My father went out to Tarsus on foot, and he perfored two or three Hajjs on foot, and he was the most patient of people upon being alone.” - [‘Tarjamat al-Imam Ahmad'; pg. 18]

4 – Ibn al-Qayyim{rahimahullah}said:
"Know that the greatest of losses is for you to be preoccupied with one who will bring you nothing but a loss in your time with Allah – the Mighty and Majestic – and being cut off from Him, a wasting your time with the person, a weakening of your energy, and the dispersing of your resolve. So, if you are tested with this – and you must be tested with this – deal with him according to how Allah would wish, and be patient with him as much as possible. Get closer to Allah and His Pleasure by way of this person, and make your getting together with him something to benefit from, not something to incur a loss from.  Make sure that you are the one who gives him a ride, and that he is not the one giving you the ride. If he refuses, and there is nothing to gain from travelling with him, do not stop for him, bid him farewell, and do not even turn back to look at him, as he is a highway robber, regardless of who he really is.
So, save your heart, be wary of how you spend your days and nights, and do not let the Sun set before you arrive at your destination.” [‘al-Wabil as-Sayyib'; pg. 45]

5 – Ibn Jama’ah said:
"  ....There is a phrase that is constantly on the tongues of the Fuqaha’: ‘Repelling something is easier than removing it.’
So, if someone requires someone to befriend, let that person be righteous, religious, pious, wary, intelligent, full of benefit, having little evil, good at complying, rarely conflicting, reminding him if he forgets, cooperating with him when he is reminded, helpful if he is in need, and comforting if he is in distress.” - [‘Tadhkirat as-Sami' wal-Mutakallim'; pg. 83]

6 – Ibn Qudamah al-Maqdisi{rahimahullah}said:
“Know that not everyone is suitable to be your friend. You must verify that this potential friend has the neccessary characteristics that make friendship with him something to be desired.
1.) He must be intelligent, as there is no good in befriending an idiot, as he will only harm you when he wants to benefit you. By intelligent, we mean one who understands things as they are, either on his own, or if they are explained to him.

2.) He must have good manners, and this is a must. One who is simply intelligent might be overcome by anger or desire, and obey his desire. Thus, there would be no benefit in befriending him.

3.) He must not be a fasiq, as such a person would not fear Allah, and whoever does not fear Allah cannot be trusted.

4.) He must not be an innovator, as his abundance of innovation is feared from befriending him

5.)should not be eager for the dunya.”

[‘Mukhtasar Minhaj al-Qasidin'; p. 126-132]

~*~10 Things Muslim Men Find Attractive In Muslim Women~*~

It is my eternal dream to become such a blessed slave of Allah and I will struggle till my death to be one Insha Allah..though it is not possible that one can be full with all these qualities...but intention, dua and strive can get us all there Insha Allah!!

1. Her Obedience to the Creator: A practicing Muslim man loves to have a practicing Muslim wife; who knows that the life of this world is nothing but a test from her Lord; giving her an opportunity to come closer and closer to Allah, doing more and more good deeds to please Him Azza wa jal, restricting herself from the desires of her inner self that go against the will of her Creator.
But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. (Surah An- Naaziyaat: 40-41)

2. Her Haya (Modesty/Shyness): Haya is one of the most significant factors of a woman’s personality. Haya according to a believer's nature refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one's fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.

 Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: "Haya comes from Eman; Eman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
A Muslim woman feels shy to do anything that would displease her Lord in any aspect. She has haya in her talk, she has haya in her gaze, she has haya in her clothing, she has haya in her walk. Her haya in her talk is that she is not soft in her speech but speaks honorably.

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner” (Surah Al-Ahzaab:32)

Her haya in her gaze is that she does not look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prohibited for her to look. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)… (Verse continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her clothing is that she does not reveal to others what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has forbidden for her to reveal. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):
...And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.. (Verse Continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her walk is that she walks modestly without attracting others attention towards herself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning): .
..And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (Surah An-Nur: 31)

 Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger Sallallahu alaihiwasallam say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle of the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq)

A woman who has the knowledge of Allah’s commandment to preserve her modesty, submitting herself to the will of her creator, even after having the desire to be praised for her beauty, is without doubt beloved to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and as well as to all good believing men.

3. Her Beauty: Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala made women beautiful in the sight of men. It’s just that some human beings are more attracted towards some than others. Aishah RadhiyAllahu anha said: “I heard the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Al-Qurtubi said: “Although they are all souls, they differ in different ways, so a person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common. So we notice that people of all types will get along with those with whom they share an affinity, and will keep away from those who are of other types. [This is like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”] For a believing man, a Muslim woman’s beauty is not just how her nose looks or how big her eyes are, but her modesty, purity of heart, and innocence make her look beautiful as well.

Also Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala makes people whom He loves, pleasing to others.
 “When Allah loves someone he calls to Jibreel Alaihissalaam saying, ‘O Jibreel, I love such and such a person, so love him.’ Then Jibreel will call to the (angels) of the heavens, ‘Allah loves such and such a person so love him.’ And the angels will love [that person]. And then Allah will place the pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

4. Her Intellect/playfulness: Intellect and playfulness are two qualities of women highly liked by men. Every man likes to have an intelligent wife who can advise and support him in day to day matters. Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiyAllahu anha was one of the most beloved wives of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She supported Allah’s messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) at the very beginning of his Prophethood when Jibreel alaihissalaam brought the first revelation to him. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) always admired her and remembered her even long after her death. A playful wife is a joy and pleasure to a man’s heart. Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam recommended Jabir bin 'Abdullah to marry a virgin so that the two could play with each other and amuse each other. Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah: "My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron.

Allah's Apostle said to me, "O Jabir! Have you married?" I said, "Yes." He said, "A virgin or a matron?" I replied, "A matron." he said, "Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you." (Hadith continued) (Sahih Al- Bukhari)

5. Her Truthfulness: Being truthful and honest is an essential quality of a believer. ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood RadhiyAllahu anh said: The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “I urge you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will continue to be truthful and seek to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as speaker of truth (Siddeeq). And beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hell; a man will continue to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
A person who is known to lie repeatedly loses his trust. And if that happens in case of a marital relationship the whole relationship falls apart. A woman who is known to be a “Siddeeqah” certainly has a higher status in a Muslim man’s heart.

6. Her Obedience: Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala made man protector and maintainer of the woman and enjoined upon her to obey him in all the matters that do not go against Quran and Sunnah.

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (Surah An-Nisa’: 34)
The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.” (At-Tabarani, Ibn Majah)

7. Her Patience: Patience is a characteristic that can never be praised enough. A woman who remains patient at the times of hardship and relies on the help and mercy of Allah is without a doubt a beloved servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
 “And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)” (Surah Aal Imran: 146) 

8. Her Cooking: Delicious food is without a doubt weakness of men. It’s an old saying that “The Way to a Man's Heart is through his Stomach”. We also know that one of Prophet’s (Sallallahu alaihiwasallam) wives used to cook food that he liked a lot and due to that Aishah radhiyAllahu anha would get jealous, because she didn’t know how to cook that.

9. Her Contentment with Rizq: No man likes to have a woman who is always complaining about how less her husband earns or how rich her other friends are. A good Muslimah is the one who thank Allah for what He has blessed her with and she is thankful to her husband for what he provides her with. Abu Hurairah RadhiyAllahu anh reported: The Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, "Richness is not the abundance of wealth, rather it is self-sufficiency.'' (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

10. Good Manners: A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, why she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks. It is related by 'Abdullah bin Amr that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: "The best of you are those who possess the best of manners." (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

By Mansoor Aleem
Al-Hadiyah Magazine

~*~The Woman of Jannah~*~

The Messenger of Allah, Salla Allahu Alayhi Wasallam, said, what translated means, 

“Your women, who are among the residents of Paradise are Al-Wadood, Al-Walood and Al-‘Aood to her husband; the one who, if he (her husband) gets angry, she comes to him and puts her hand in his hand, saying, ‘I will not taste sleep until you are pleased (with me).’” [Ad-Daraqutni]. 

Al-Wadood is the one who shows affection to her husband, Al-Walood is the one who bears many children for her husband, and Al-‘Aood is the one who brings many benefits to him. There is no doubt that if the wife possesses these characteristics and qualities, then she will deserve to be among the residents of Paradise . Let us imagine a wife putting her hand in her husband’s hand, saying, “I will not taste sleep until you are pleased.”

Taken from the book " The Women Of Jannah"

~*~ Is chatting on internet with non-mahram haram?~*~

Answer 1:

Chatting on the internet is similar to speaking on the telephone. It is
not permissible for male or female to speak on the telephone to the
opposite gender who is a Ghayr Mahram (not prohibited in marriage) freely
and without necessity. If there is a genuine need which is valid in
Shari’ah, then members of the opposite gender may speak through the
telephone with modesty and confine the discussion to the need.


To speak freely and beyond necessity is a sin. The same rule applies for
chatting on the internet. No person should decide him/herself what is a
valid reason in Shari’ah to speak on the phone or chat on the internet.
Many people have their own interpretations of genuine need which is not
acceptable in Shari’ah. We are aware of many such people who have caused
ruin to their lives especially by chatting on the internet with the
opposite gender. The expression of smiley faces and sad faces through
internet chatting falls in the category of drawing pictures of animate
objects which is prohibited. As an alternative, one may express his/her
happiness and sadness in words.


and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

By:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai

Answer 2:

Asalam o alaikum warehmatullahi wabarakatu hu

Islam not only prohibits fitna but it also prohibits those things which may lead to Fitna. The general ruling is that if someone has a strong nafs and believes that he/she will not fall into temptations and fitnas by chatting to opposite sex(only on required issues-like Islam and not talking uselessly) then its allowed..But if one fears that he or she might fall in the fitna of relationship and traps of sheytaan then its not allowed and he or she should withdraw from all such chatrooms and discussion forums where intermingling of sexes is happening and male/females are talking openly and joking around etc…

Allah Almighty says:

“O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaitân (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaitân (Satan), then, verily he commands Al-Fahshâ’ [i.e. to commit indecency, and Al-Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islâm, etc.)]. And had it not been for the Grace of Allâh and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allâh purifies (guides to Islâm) whom He wills, and Allâh is All-Hearer, All-Knower.”
(Surah Nuur chapter 24 verse 21)

i- The evidence that it is not allowed for male and female to talk shamelessly on internet and joke around is the following verse of the Glorious Quran:

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
[Surah al-Ahzaab chapter 33 verse 32]

NOTE: If this applies to the pure Mothers of the Believers, then it applies even more so to other women.

ii- The evidence that it is haraam for women to put an arousing picture of some celebrity or even of themselves in their display pic of their profile to tempt men are the following ahadith of our beloved Prophet Muhammad(pbuh):

1- The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are two types of the people of Hell whom I have not seen. People with whips like the tails of cattle with which they beat the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, going astray and leading others astray, with their heads looking like the humps of bakht camels, leaning to one side. They will not enter Paradise nor even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance may be detected from such and such a distance.”
Sahih Muslim hadith number 2128

The bakht camel is a type of camel that has a long neck.

2- WOMAN WHO WEARS THIN GARMENT (SEE THROUGH) GARMENT, OR WHO AROUSE PASSION IN MEN, OR MEET MEN, THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MIX OR MOVE ABOUT OPENLY WHILE HEAVILY MADE UP OR WHO LIVE WITHOUT PARDAH, WILL NEVER ENTER JANNAT. IN FACT THEY WILL NOT EVEN SMELL THE FRAGRANCE OF JANNAT.
(Sahih Muslim)

iii- The evidence that a women should only talk to males when it is extremely required- for example when asking some Islamic issue or some question or some other thing related to daily life(but not jokes and non useful things like How are you? What is your age? what do u do? etc) is the following verse:

“And when ye ask (his ladies) for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs.”
(SURAH AHZAAB CHAPTER 33 VERSE 53)

In the above verse Allah Almighty is telling the believers that if they want to ask the Prophet’s wives for anything then they should ask from behind the screen. Now who was more modest than the Prophet’s (Pbuh) wives? So when they are being ordered to talk to some na-mehram or ask something from na-mehram from behind the screen(means parda), then howcome the weak nafs men and women of today’s age be allowed to talk openly on internet and yet they claim that internet chatting is not harmful?

The sahabas used to come to Hazrat Aisha(May Allah be pleased with her) and ask her questions about Islam and learn from her. She used to be behind the screen and she would put her finger in her mouth so that her voice doesn’t look attractive and soft to the men.

Share By: Bimmi Fahmeeda Khan

~*~Clarifying misunderstandings of Taqdeer On 15th Shaban~*~

The following is the transcript of a circle given in the middle of the month of Shaban 143o Hijri.

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا أَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَأَطِيعُوا الرَّسُولَ وَأُولِي الْأَمْرِ مِنْكُمْ فَإِنْ تَنَازَعْتُمْ فِي شَيْءٍ فَرُدُّوهُ إِلَى اللَّهِ وَالرَّسُولِ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآَخِرِ
“O you who believe, Obey Allah, Obey His Messenger and those in authority from amongst you and if you differ then refer it to Allah and His Messenger if you believe in Allah and the Last Day.” [An-Nisa: 59]

We have recently passed the 15th of Sha’ban, and the night which people call ‘Shabe barat’ or ‘Laylatul barat’ it is also known as Laylat al-Nusf min Sha’baan, in the Indian sub continent we see people engaging in all types of practices on this day, where some consider that it is like Eid, others go to graveyards saying the souls visit the world. People give out sweets, people spend the night in prayer, etc.

In Arabic Bara’a means forgiveness and pardon. The night of 15th of Sha’ban (the night between 14th and 15th) has come to be known as Shab-e-Bara’at, the night of pardon from sins, probably because of a narration recorded by Imam Tirmizi.

I want to begin by clarifying the issue and then discussing other points related to the issue of the confusions people have surrounding the topic of Taqdeer.

Before discussing this topic we need to be reminded that we base our actions upon evidences from the Quran and that which is authentic from the Sunnah. We do not base our actions on custom, tradition, the actions of people even scholars.

There is nothing about this night in Qur’an. Imam Tirmizi has recorded the following Hadith: “Narrated Ayesha that one night (she awoke and) she did not find Prophet (Pbuh) (in his bed). She went out (to search for him) and found him in Baqi’ (the graveyard in Madinah)... The Prophet (Pbuh) said: In the night of 15th of Sha’ban, Allah descends to the lowest of skies and grants pardon to the people more than the number of hair of the goats of Kal’b tribe.” (Tirmizi)

After recording the above Hadith Imam Tirmizi wrote the following note underneath: “I have heard Imam Bukhari saying that this Hadith is Za’eef as Hajjaj. One of the chain of its narrators is a’eef (less reliable). (Tirmizi; Abwab-us-Saum)

There are also various other narrations which people quote regarding this night but they are not authentic.

Al-‘Allaamah al-Shawkaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Fawaa’id al-Majmoo’ah:

“The hadeeth: ‘O ‘Ali, whoever prays one hundred rak’ahs on Laylat al-Nusf min Sha’baan, reciting in each rak’ah the Opening of the Book [Soorat al-Faatihah] and Qul Huwa Allaahu Ahad ten times, Allaah will meet all his needs…’ This is mawdoo’ (fabricated) [i.e., it is falsely attributed to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him]. Its wording clearly states the reward that the person who does this will attain, and no man who has any common sense can doubt that this is fabricated. Also, the men of its isnaad are majhool (unknown). It was also narrated via another isnaad, all of which is mawdoo’ (fabricated) and all of whose narrators are majhool (unknown).

In al-Mukhtasar he said: The hadeeth about the salaah for the middle of Sha’baan is false, and the hadeeth of ‘Ali narrated by Ibn Hibbaan – “ When it is the night of the middle of Sha’baan, spend that night in prayer and fast that day” – is da’eef (weak).

Al-Haafiz al-‘Iraaqi said: “The hadeeth about the prayer during the night of the middle of Sha’baan is fabricated and is falsely attributed to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).”

Imaam al-Nawawi said in his book al-Majmoo’: “The prayer that is known as salaat al-raghaa’ib, which is twelve rak’ahs between Maghrib and ‘Ishaa’ on the night of the first Friday in Rajab, and the prayer of Laylat al-Nusf min Sha’baan, of one hundred rak’ahs – these two prayers are reprehensible bid’ahs. No one should be deceived by the fact that they are mentioned in the books Qoot al-Quloob and Ihyaa’ ‘Uloom al-Deen, or by the hadeeth which is mentioned in these two books. All of that is false. Nor should they be deceived by the fact that some of the imaams were confused about this matter and wrote a few pages stating that these prayers are mustahabb, for they were mistaken in that.”

It is recommended to fast in Sha’ban in general
'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: "The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to fast until we thought he would never break his fast, and not fast until we thought he would never fast. I never saw the Messenger of Allaah fasting for an entire month except in Ramadaan, and I never saw him fast more than he did in Sha'baan." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 1833; Muslim, no. 1956).

Emotional belief and the wrong attitude
What we see today is a sign of the intellectual decline, where people follow Islam emotionally rather than believing in it intellectually and following its rules. We see so much hypocritical behavior such as people spending the whole night in prayer thinking that Allah will forgive them and the next day go back to committing haram such as riba, socializing with the opposite sex, tribalism, women not covering their awra, etc.

In fact if we have the correct understanding based on the authentic evidences we would realize that Allah accepts the prayers every night:

Allah’s Apostle said, “When it is the last third of the night, our Lord, the Blessed, the Superior, descends every night to the heaven of the world and says, ‘Is there anyone who invokes Me (demand anything from Me), that I may respond to his invocation; Is there anyone who asks Me for something that I may give (it to) him; Is there anyone who asks My forgiveness that I may forgive him?’ (Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 75, Number 333)

Misconceptions regarding Taqdeer

MISCONCEPTION: This is the blessed night on which the taqdeer is decided. Who will live…who will die. Who will get how much rizq…

The issue of qadar that the text refers to the knowledge of Allah. The mention in the text about Al-Lauh al-Mahfooz, the protected decree is an expression of the knowledge of Allah

There are various texts in the Quran and the Sunnah about this:

وَمَا كَانَ لِنَفْسٍ أَنْ تَمُوتَ إِلاَّ بِإِذْنِ الله كِتَاباً مُّؤَجَّلاً"Nor shall a soul die except by Allah's leave, the term being fixed by writing." [Aali-Imran: 145]

The Prophet (saw) said: "The first thing which Allah created was the pen. Then, He said to it: Write. It asked: My Lord, what should I write? He said: Write the Qadar of all things up until the Hour." [Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi, and it is hassan]

It is narrated from Amru bin Al-‘Aas, he said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (saw) say: “Allah decreed the destinies ‘maqadeer’ of the creatures fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth.” [Muslim]

Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Prophet said, "Allah has appointed an angel in the womb, and the angel says, 'O Lord! A drop of discharge (i.e. of semen), O Lord! a clot, O Lord! a piece of flesh.' And then, if Allah wishes to complete the child's creation, the angel will say. 'O Lord! A male or a female? O Lord! wretched or blessed (in religion)? What will his livelihood be? What will his age be?' The angel writes all this while the child is in the womb of its mother." [Bukhari]

Therefore it is false to say it occurs on this night, as the knowledge of Allah regarding this world and what will occur in it was written before we existed.

The confusing of people between al-qadar (the knowledge of Allah) and al-Qada wal qadar (fate and destiny) & free will
People confuse between the knowledge of Allah and the subject of al-Qada wal Qadar which was a debate that came about after the time of the Sahaba when the Muslims encountered the Greek philosophy. Essentially that topic is to do with free will, do we have free will or not? What do we control and what we don’t control?

If one was to come to an accurate understanding of the subject of al-Qadaa wal Qadar he must first have an understanding of the correct basis upon which the argument is built. This basis should not be whether the actions of man are created by himself or by Allah (swt). It is also not the knowledge of Allah (swt) (‘ilmullah علم الله), in terms of the fact that He (swt) knows that man will perform such an action and that His (swt) knowledge encompasses it. Nor is it the decree of Allah (swt) (iraadatullah إرادة الله) in terms that His (swt) decree was related to the servant's action, i.e., that the action must happen because of this will. It also shouldn't be that the servant's action is recorded in the Al Lauh Al Mahfooth (اللوح المحفوظ - Protected Decree or Register), so as a result he is inevitably going to carry out this action in accordance with what is recorded.

The fact that Allah knows everything it is to do with his attributes and that he is unlimited, it is a clear part of Iman. We cannot build any logical argument on that basis – that because he knows what we will do that we have no free will, this is completely false. As he knows everything and he has clearly given us free will and he knows what we will do with our free will as he is unlimited, beyond perception. In fact the Prophet (saw) warned us not to discuss the essence of Allah as it is beyond our reality as the Quran says ‘Laysa kamislihi shay’ ‘There is nothing like unto him’. The Prophet also specifically warned not to enter into discussing the unlimited knowledge of Allah and try to debate about it

Al-Tabarani extracted with a good [hasan] chain from the hadīth of Ibn Mas'ūd who reported it without mentioning the reference to the Messenger of Allah (saw) [marfū']:

إذا ذُكِرَ القَدَرُ فأمْسِكُوا
“If the qadar is mentioned leave it”, [Tabarani]

That is, if the Knowledge of Allah or His Determination for things are mentioned then do not involve (in discussion) about it, because the fact that the determination of thing is from Allah means that He Recorded them in the Lawh al-Mahfūdh, that is, He knew them. The fact that Allah is knowing about them is one of the attributes of Allah in which īmān is obligatory. So the meaning of the hadīth is that if it was mentioned that Allah is the One who Determined the things and He knew them, that is, He recorded them in the Lawh al-Mahfūdh, then do not involve yourself in discussing that, rather abstain from that and submit to it.

Allah is unlimited and he has all knowledge, this does not mean we become fatalistic and submit to what may be included in that knowledge, if we did this we would be sinful as we have free will and will be accounted upon our actions.

The subjects of the knowledge of Allah and the inclusion in Al Lauh Al Mahfooth of everything are detached from the subject of reward and punishment for the action. This is what needs to be our focus. In other words, is man compelled to perform an action, good or bad, or does he have a choice? And does man have the choice to perform an action or abandon it? Or does he not have the choice?

Any individual who studies the actions of man accurately will observe that man lives within two spheres: one of them he dominates, which is the sphere that falls within the domain of his free will and within it, his actions, which he carries out by his own free will, occur. The other sphere dominates him and it is the sphere within whose domain he lives and within it the actions, which he has no free will in, occur; whether they occur from him or not.

We can see the correct understanding in the Sahabah
The phrase ‘the qadar of Allah’ has come in the speech of the Sahabah with the meaning of the taqdīr of Allah and His Knowledge. It is narrated from Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas that, “Umar ibn al-Khattāb left for al-Sham, until he reached Sawgh where he met the leaders of the armies, Abu Ubaydah ibn al-Jarrah and his companions who informed him that plague had befallen the land of al-Sham. Ibn ‘Abbas said, Umar ibn al-Khattāb said, ‘Call for me the first Muhājirīn’. So they called them, he consulted them and informed them about the plague that that befallen al-Sham, but they differed. Some of them said, you went out for a matter and we do not think you should change your mind about it. Some others said that you have with you some people and the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (saw) and we do not think that you should expose them to this plague. Umar said ‘Withdraw from me’. He then said, ‘Call for me the Ansār’, so they called them, he consulted them, and they took the path of the Muhājirīn, so they differed like them. He said: ‘Withdraw from me.’ Then he said, ’Call for me whoever present here of the leaders of Quraish who are of the Muhajireen of the Conquest’, so they called them and even two men of them did not differ in their opinion to him. They all said, ‘We think that you should turn back together with the people who are with you and not expose them to this plague.’ Thus Umar announced to the people, ‘I will be riding (back) in the morning, so you do the same’. Abu Ubaydah then said, ‘(Are you) fleeing from the qadar of Allah?’ Umar replied, ‘had someone else said that O Abu Ubaydah; Yes, we are fleeing from the qadar of Allah to the qadar of Allah. What do you think if you had camels and you descended a valley that has two slopes (sides), one of them is fertile and the other barren. Is it not true that if you grazed (in) the fertile one you would do so with the qadar of Allah, and if you grazed (in) the barren one you would so that with the qadar of Allah.” The qadar of Allah here means the determination and the knowledge of Allah, that is, if you grazed (in) the fertile you did what Allah had decreed in the Lawh al-Mahfūdh and what He did know. Similarly if you grazed in the barren one you did what Allah decreed in the Lawh al-Mahfūdh and what He did know.

They had the correct understanding that there are some things we control which we are accountable and the things beyond our control are from Allah, so we should worry about that.

As narration by As-Suyuti in Tarikh al-Khulafah that a man came to Ali (ra) asking him about what we control and what we don’t. He asked him to lift one of his legs up and then the second leg – then said there are some things we control and others we don’t.

Narrated from ‘Imran bin Hussein, he said: “A man said; O Messenger of Allah! Are the people of the jannah and the people of the nar known? He said: Yes. He said: Why then the people have to strive? He said: Every one will strive for what he was created (jannah or nar), or for what he was facilitated.” [Al-Bukhari]

This is quite explicit that iman in al-qadar does not mean depending (on it), because al-qadar and recording, i.e. the knowledge of Allah, are not disclosed to any creature; so on what man has to depend? Therefore, the Messenger said to the one who asked him, should not we depend? He said: No, i.e. He forbade him from depending. He was not satisfied with that, he rather said to him as well: ‘strive’, i.e. he ordered him to strive. Thus his forbiddance from depending (on al-qadar) and his order of striving is explicit evidence on not linking the action with al-qadar.

Moreover, the knowledge of Allah that the particular matter would happen does not mean to neglect considering the causes and effects (la-asbab wal-musabbabat) and not to link the causes with their effects. This is because the knowledge of Allah was not revealed to any body so as to know the matter and thus he does not consider its causes; for recording and al-qadra are impossible to be known by the creatures so as to judge on whether the matter would happen or not. Therefore, they should not neglect considering the cause and effects under the pretence of al-qadar and the recording, for this is linked with unknown matter. They must rather consider the causes and the effects without linking them with al-qadar, i.e. without thinking of it.

The danger of al-Qadariya al-Ghaibiya (fatalism)
Muslims used to believe in the Qadr and keeping it in the realm of belief (Iman). But now, Muslims started noticing this Iman in the Qadr, before performing any action and they started to carry various actions shaped by this Iman in the Qadr. Thus, they surrounded themselves by what is predetermined. Muslims started to think that whatever Allah predetermined is going to happen, regardless if they became active or passive in carrying out an action. They started believing like this, despite the fact that they know for sure that, it is impossible for anyone to have access to Allah's knowledge. In other words, the Muslims do believe that it is impossible for anyone to know what Allah's knowledge is.

Muslims know all of this, yet they still link their actions with this knowledge of Allah. Thus, al-Qadaria al-Ghaibiya (fatalism) emerged. It became something different than believing in al-Qadr. This is because, believing in the Qadr is to believe conclusively that nothing will happen in this universe, other than what Allah has predetermined everything and wrote in al-Lowh al-Mahfooth. However, al-Qadariya al-Ghaibiya means to surrender to what is predetermined. There is a difference between believing in the Qadr and surrendering to the predetermined. Surrendering to this predetermined is simply the result of believing in the Qadr with the absolute surrender; which is that what is predetermined is going to happen and nothing will happen if Allah did not predetermined it.

e.g. The situation of the Ummah today, we can’t do anything to change it as Allah will bring the change
e.g. We cannot stand against the corrupt rulers as Allah has given them power over us
e.g. Accepting the occupation of Islamic lands and butchering of Muslims

We do believe that Allah knows or predetermined everything. This, however, should not be observed in our actions. We do not have access to Allah's knowledge. No one knows that there is going to be a failure or success. No one knows whether there is going to be obedience or disobedience. We do not have access to Allah's knowledge and consequently Allah's knowledge should not be observed and linked to our actions, because we do not know it and it is impossible for us to know. Thus, we do not surrender to it. Rather, we should put a thick barrier separating it (Allah's knowledge) from our minds. It should not be thought about, imagined or speculated before carrying any action. But, we should restrict ourselves to the issue, the hukm Sharii, causes of success, the factors of failure and keep this alone in mind.

Even in those matters beyond our control which are from Allah such as Victory (nasr), Rizk (livelihood), Ajal (lifespan), etc – The Prophet (saw) and the Sahaba were not fatalistic.

The Prophet was promised victory, yet he still followed the commands of Allah and tirelessly worked to change the society and establish the Islamic state and after that to prepare the armies for Jihad. He fought in numerous battles like Badr and Uhud.

There is a difference between the matters of Iman and the matters of Shariah. Regarding actions we have to refer to the Shariah, although Iman is permanent.

Anas bin Malik, who said: “A man said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, should I tie it and make tawakkul, or let it go free and make tawakkul?’ He (saw) said: “Tie it and make tawakkul.’” [At-Tirmizi]

The Prophet showed us to look after the means to achieve the results and have tawakal in Allah.

The Sahaba worked to achieve their rizk and did not wait for Allah to send it from the sky. In fact they were strictly against that, it was narrated that Umar bin Al-Khattab (ra) passed by some people, who were known as readers of the Qur’an. He saw them sitting and bending their heads, and asked who they were. He was told: "They are those who depend (al-mutawwakiloon) upon Allah (swt)." Umar replied: "No, they are the eaters who eat the people’s properties. Do you want me to describe those who really depend upon Allah (al-mutawwakiloon) are?" He was answered in the affirmative, and then he said: "He is the person who throws the seeds in the earth and depends on His Lord The Almighty, The Exalted (‘azza wa jall)."

Therefore we need to work to fulfill all the commands and prohibitions of Allah, at the same time believing the absolute knowledge of Allah and having tawakkal in Him.

~*~ Are You Aware Of What You Are Planting?~*~

~*~Education Of Women In Islam~*~

Allah says in the Holy Qur’an:

Read! in the name of your Lord Who has created (all that exists).
( سورة العلق , Al-Alaq, Chapter #96, Verse #1)

Education is a necessity in this time and age. Islam exhorts us to get educated.

In all times and especially in our times to be able to face the many challenges of life we need to be educated.

Allah swt says addressing  both men and women  in the Holy Qur’an:

O mankind! Reverence your Guardian Lord,

Who created you from a single person,

created of like nature his mate

and from them twain scattered (like seeds)

countless men and women. (Holy Qur’an 4:1)

And Allah also says in the Holy Qur’an

“Surely the men who submit and the women who submit,

and the believing men and the believing women,

and the devout men and the devout women,

and the truthful men and the truthful women,

and the patient men and the patient women,

and the humble men and the humble women,

and the charitable men and the charitable women,

and the fasting men and the fasting women,

and the men who guard their chastity

and the women who guard their chastity

and the men who remember Allåh much

and the women who remember Allåh much,

Allåh has prepared for them forgiveness and a mighty reward.” (Qur’an 33:35)

From the above  verses , we can establish that there is equality between male and female (what’ s good for one is good for the other) with a few exceptions , those  exceptions deal with the nature and function of the female rather than reflect badly upon her competence morally or rationally.

So as  Muslim women we  are encouraged to get an education. .

The life of Aa’ishah (radiyallaahu ‘anhaa) is proof that a woman can be far more learned than men and that she can be the teacher of scholars and experts. Her life is also proof that the same woman can be totally feminine and be a source of pleasure, joy and comfort to her husband.

She (ra) did not graduate from any university but still her utterances are studied in faculties of literature, her legal pronouncements are studied in colleges of law and her life and works are studied by students and teachers of Muslim history as they have been for over a thousand years.

How can we get education in the West?

Problem: Segregation between the sexes in educational institutions or rather the lack of it.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:

Is it permissible for a man to study in a mixed university where men and women mix in one classroom, knowing that the student has a role to play in calling people to Allaah?

He replied:

What I think is that it is not permissible for anyone, man or woman, to study in a mixed school, because of the grave danger that it poses to his chastity, integrity and morals. No matter how great a person’s integrity, morals and innocence, if a woman is sitting beside him on the seat – especially if she is beautiful and unveiled – he can hardly avoid fitnah and evil. Everything that leads to fitnah and evil is also haraam and is not permitted. We ask Allaah to keep our Muslim brothers safe from such things which will only bring evil, fitnah and corruption to their youth. If there is no other university apart from this one, he should go and study in another city or country where this mixing does not happen. I do not think that this is permissible but others may have a different opinion.

Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/103

This might be possible  where there are single sex educational  establishments in our countries or if we have the means to go and study elsewhere.

Seeking an education we first have to exhaust all routes that comply  comply with the Shareeah.

Now days  when technology is so far advanced, we have  the option of distance studying and  learning.

But what happens if our course requires us to attend in order to qualify?

It becomes a case of necessity

It is a well-established rule that Muslim society is under a collective obligation – Far∂ Kifayah – to have enough professional personnel to cater for the needs of the society.

Muslim jurists say that there has to be enough tailors, bakers, teachers, Imåms, judges, medical people and midwives, etc. to satisfy the needs of the community. Muslims prefer female doctors for examining females, males to examine males. From a professionalpoint of view this is much better. From a religious point of view it is essential. Unless, therefore, we have females in such professions we will be failing in our religious duty.

What steps can we take to protect ourselves and our children from fitnah?

To meet the challenge :

1) Be diligent in prayers and ask Allah to strengthen our faith;
2) As we  step out from the  home, ask Allah to guard us and protect us against all temptations;
3) Hang around with only good friends who are upright and moral;
4) Make ourselves  always busy with our study; if  we  have spare time take up some good projects which will keep us busy;
5) Use our  free time to learn Islam by attending classes with respectable teachers;

6)   be Modest- Observe the Hijaab ( males and females)- Outer garments and behaviour;

Allah (swt) says in the Holy Qur’an:

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts from sin and not show of their adornment except only that which is apparent, and draw their headcovers over their necks and bosoms and not reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women (i.e., their sisters in Islam), or their female slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants free of physical desires, or small children who have no sense of women’s nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah altogether, O you Believers, in order that you may attain success.[An-Nur, 24:31]

…And do not make a display of yourselves like the displaying of the ignorance of long ago… [Al-Ahzaab, 33:33]

O Prophet, Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their outer garments about themselves (when they go out). That is better so that they may be recognised and not molested. And Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. [Al-Ahzaab, 33:59]

7) Try to keep our distance from the opposite sex, avoid idle talk.

8)  We should never allow the distractions of this world  and our education to overthrow the importance of our duty to Allah (swt).

The above  solutions sound  so simple, the reality is that  they are not always.

You have to have faith in yourself and in Allah. “Each step a person takes order to become closer to Allah, he/she will be rewarded for every dust particle that settles upon him whilst on that journey.”

May Allah( swt ) bless your efforts to be close to Him and get an education.

The above article is not a fatwa.If you need specific advice tailor made to your personal circumstances please speak to as scholar.

~*~An Islamic Perspective on Sexuality~*~

An Islamic Perspective on Sexuality - In Islam, sexuality is considered part of our identity as human beings. In His creation of humankind, God distinguished us from other animals by giving us reason and will such that we can control behavior that, in other species, is governed solely by instinct. So, although sexual relations ultimately can result in the reproduction and survival of the human race, an instinctual concept, our capacity for self-control allows us to regulate this behavior. Also, the mere fact that human beings are the only creatures who engage in sexual relations once they are beyond the physical capacity for reproduction, sets us apart from all other species which engage in sex for the sole purpose of reproduction.

Marriage

For Muslims, based on an understanding of Qur’an and hadith, sexual relations are confined to marriage between a wife and husband. Within this context, the role of a healthy sexual relationship is extremely important. Having and raising children are encouraged among Muslims. Once a child is born, the parents are expected to care for, nurture and prepare the child for adulthood, with a goal of imparting Islam so that the indivdual is equipped with knowledge and willingness to accept and practice Islam and thus become a productive member of society.

Beyond childbearing, sexual relations assume a prominent role in the overall well-being of the marriage. In reading hadith, one is impressed with the Prophet’s ability to discuss all issues including those dealing with human sexuality. The topics range from questions about menstruation to orgasm. He apparently was not embarassed by such inquiries, but strove to adequately guide and inform the Muslims who asked. Both Qur’an and hadith allude to the nature of sexual relations as a means of attaining mutual satisfaction, closeness and compassion between a wife and husband. 

Allah (Subhanahu Wa Tala) Said “Permitted to you on the night of the Fasts is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and you are their garments.”(2:187) 

 Also, Muslims are advised to avoid sexual intercourse during menses so as not to cause discomfort to the woman (2:222).

The goal of marriage is to create tenderness between two individuals and satisfy the very basic human need for companionship. 

Allah (Subhanahu Wa Tala Said) “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; in this are signs for those who think.”(30:21) 

The hadith which address this issue are numerous. The Prophet himself, while not divulging all aspects of his own sexual life, was known for his nature as a loving husband who was sensitive and physically demonstrative. In several hadith, he speaks about the importance of foreplay and speaking in loving terms during sexual relations. Again, the concept of mutual satisfaction is elucidated in a hadith which advises husbands to engage in acts that enable a woman to achieve orgasm first. (see Ihya ulum-id-din (Revival of Religious Learning) by Imam Ghazzali, chapter on Marriage). Sexual dissatisfaction is considered legitimate grounds for divorce on the part of either wife or husband.

Sex Outside of Marriage

Naturally, attraction between individuals is necessary to initiate a relationship that leads to marriage. But sexual relations can obviously take place between any couple, consenting or not. Because of the far-reaching ramifications of sexual relations outside of marriage, Muslims are prohibited by God from such behavior. And because the process that leads to physical attraction and ultimately intimacy is part of human nature, Muslims are advised to behave in a way and avoid circumstances that could potentially result in extra- or pre-marital sex. Modesty in dress and behavior between women and men figures prominently as a means of exhibiting self-control. Similarly, unmarried couples are admonished against spending time alone in isolated places where they would be more likely to act on their feelings and thus be less inhibited.

Some of the negative results of sex outside of marriage include the potential for unwanted pregnancies, transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, disruption of the family and marriage (in cases of adultery), and emotional and psychological difficulties resulting from the lack of commitment associated with most relationships outside of marriage. As in other religions, extra- and pre-marital sex are considered major sins. Muslims believe that God does not simply forbid or allow behavior whimsically, but does so with our best interest at heart, guiding us away from potentially destructive behavior and towards behavior that allows us to achieve our most fulfilling potentials as human beings. For a similar reason, Muslims give up the consumption of alcohol because of faith in God’s wisdom that the negative effects outweigh the positive for individuals and society at large.

Allah (Subhanahu Wa Tala Said)“Whoever submits his whole self to God, and is a doer of good, has grasped indeed the most trustworthy handhold…”{(31:22)

Contraception

Although Muslims are encouraged to have children, contraception is not prohibited. The method used during the time of the Prophet was coitus interruptus (known as ‘azl) about which several hadith exist. His basic response when asked if such a practice was lawful was that individuals can do as they will, but if God intends for a child to be born, she/he will be born. Some interpreted this to mean that preventing pregnancy is not recommended because child-bearing is preferred; yet the act is not specifically prohibited. Also, other hadith stipulate that ‘azl could not be practiced without the wife’s consent as it might interfere with her sexual satisfaction or desire to bear children.

By analogy, the methods that exist today as contraceptives are lawful for Muslims to use at their discretion. Basically, it is our position that any method that does not involve pregnancy termination is permissible. Imam al-Ghazzali lists a number of legitimate reasons for practicing contraception, including financial difficulty, emotional or psychological hardship of having many children, and even the preservation of beauty and health.

It should be clear from this discussion, that since sexual relations should be confined to marriage, contraception is so limited. It is not considered a means of easing the difficulties associated with sexual relations outside of marriage.

Abortion

Abortion is viewed in the same context as having relevance only regarding pregnancies occurring in marriage, again, not as a response to conception as a result of extra- or pre-marital relationships. Early Muslim jurists considered abortion lawful for a variety of reasons until 40 -120 days after conception (first trimester). This was based on interpretation of Qur’an (22:4 and 23:12-14) and hadith that implied that ensoulment or ‘life’ did not exist until after that time (see Sex and Society in Islam, B.F. Musallam, Cambridge University Press, 1983). Contemporary thinkers, considering available technology that allows visualization of the embryonic heartbeat at four weeks of gestation, are of the position that life begins much earlier than previously thought, and therefore to terminate would be to take a life illegally.

The majority of Muslims today believe that abortion is allowed only if the mother’s life is significantly endangered by the pregnancy. Some also feel that the presence of certain congenital anomalies (particularly those that are lethal) make abortion lawful. Also, some scholars consider abortion appropriate in pregnancies resulting from rape or incest.

Homosexuality

Human beings are capable of many forms of sexual expression, orientation and identification. The existence of such a variety again is not found in any other species and thus further demonstrates our uniqueness among God’s creations. The potential for behavior, such as homosexuality, does not mean that its practice is lawful in the eyes of God. Therefore, individuals are expected to control themselves and not act on their desires if such action is contrary to the guidelines of Islam. Homosexuality, like other forms of sexual relations outside of heterosexual marriage, is thus prohibited. In any discussion of prohibited acts follows the question of what happens if they nevertheless occur. The Qur’an and hadith are explicit regarding severe punishment by the State if a person is convicted of such a crime. However, in order for conviction to take place, the individuals must confess or be accused by at least four eyewitnesses of the act of actual intercourse. Obviously, the likelihood of these criteria being met is small which means that most couples who engage in unlawful acts will not be punished by the State. They will then deal with the consequences of their behavior in this life and will be accountable to God on the Day of Judgement. How He ultimately judges is known only by Him.

Sex Education

Clearly, from the above discussion, Islam is explicit about many aspects of human sexuality. Also, based on the numerous hadith showing the Prophet’s willingness to discuss these matters openly, it should be obvious that education about matters related to sex is acceptable. Muslims may disagree about the age at which sex education begins; some don’t discuss the subject at all. Explaining anatomy and the changes one’s body experiences during puberty are essential for enabling young people to grow up with a healthy self-image. Also, in an age where sexual activity in many countries begins at an early age, Muslim adolescents must be informed to better enable them to deal with peer pressure. Sex education can be taught in a way that informs young people about sexuality in scientific and moral terms. In countries with very diverse populations, such as the United States, the main limitation in developing sex education curricula, particularly in public schools, is the inability to select a universally acceptable moral position. Therefore, young people are given facts and information, and advised that if they choose to engage in sexual relationships, they should take measures to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. The moral and religious aspects of sexuality can be incorporated either in schools of a particular religious denomination or in adjunctive coursework offered by religious institutions. Regardless of the challenges of each society, young people must be adequately informed. Also, in some Muslim communities, individuals are encouraged to marry at young ages. They need to be educated regarding sexuality prior to the marriage such that they know what to expect and can consider their options for birth control prior to consummating the marriage.

Female Genital Mutilation

The practice of clitoridectomy preceded the introduction of Islam in Arabia and in different parts of Africa. This results in severe sexual debilitation of women who cannot possibly achieve sexual fulfillment which is their right as Muslims. Therefore, this practice is totally unIslamic because it is in direct violation of both Qur’an and hadith which clearly stress the importance of sexual satisfaction for both the husband and wife. 

~*~Manage Your Anger In Halal Way~*~

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Before you decide to knock someone out, curse someone out or break a wall out of anger. Try these few ways to manage your anger as the Prophet (Sallalalu Alaihi Wasallam) suggested:

1. Turning to Allah (Subhanahu Wa Tala), and seeking refuge in Allah (Subhanahu Wa Tala), from Satan.

2. Silence

Prophet (Sallalahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said  "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) stated “If you get angry, stay silent.” [Ahmad]

3. Change your physical posture.

The Prophet (Sallalahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) is reported to have said, “If you get angry while standing, sit down, If you get angry while sitting, lie down.” The wisdom in this is that it prevents one from doing that which one’s anger would have made one do in that posture.

4. Perform ritual ablutions

The Prophet (Sallalahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) informed us that anger is from Satan, and he was created from fire, so we should extinguish anger with ritual ablutions. [Abu Dawud]

Allah knows best.

~*~Learn From This Story...The Value Of A Mother!.~*~

A Story With A Moral…The Value Of A Mother….

After having reached at the peak of his career a man felt an urge to repay back to his mother for all that she had done for him. So he asked her, “Mother, what can I give you? What can I do for you? I sincerely want to repay you for all the sacrifices you have made for me and for all the love you have showered upon me.”

Mother looked surprised and said, “Why do you think about it. It was my duty so I did it, you don’t have to repay me. Even if you want to, there is no way a man can ever repay his mother.”

 Despite her continuous refusal to ask for anything, he continued to persist. To put an end to the discussion, she said, “All right. If you must, then tonight you sleep on my bed, with me, just as you used to when you were a baby.” He said, “That’s a strange thing to ask for, but if it pleases you, I will.”

 As soon as he fell asleep, the mother got up and brought a bucket of water. She poured a mug full of water on his side. Feeling disturbed by the wetness under him, in his sleep he moved away to the other side of the bed. As he settled down, his mother poured another mug of water on the other side. In his slumber he tried to find space towards the foot post of the bed. Sometime later he woke up feeling that this part of the bed too was damp. He got up and saw his mother, with the mug in her hand. 

He asked angrily, “What are you doing mother? Why don’t you let me sleep? How do you expect me to sleep on a wet bed?”

 Mother said, “I slept with you, when you weted the bed in the night. I changed your nappy and moved you to the dry part of the bed, while I slept on the wet side. You wanted to repay me. Can you sleep here even for one night with me on a damp bed? If you can, I’ll take it that you have repaid me.”

 Moral: How true it is that of all the debts in the world, the one that can never be repaid is the one you owe to our mother. We can never repay the love, care and time our mother gave to bring us up. We are a part of her flesh and blood, we should don’t forget this, because she never ever forgets it. I know you are thinking of missing your mother at this very moment….Give her a hug and tell her you love her, if you far call her, if she is not with you anymore keep her in your dua’s…

“There is nothing as beautiful as our mother in this world”

Lets pray to Allah  "Rabbir hamhuma kama rabba yani saghira’"

"O our Lord have mercy on our two parents as they were my rabb[because they did my tarbeeah, because they took care of me and nurtured me] when I was young."

~*~10 beautiful aspects of an Ideal Muslimah~*~

1. Her Obedience to the Creator:

A practicing Muslim man loves to have a practicing Muslim wife; who knows that the life of this world is nothing but a test from her Lord; giving her an opportunity to come closer and closer to Allah, doing more and more good deeds to please Him Azza wa jal, restricting herself from the desires of her inner self that go against the will of her Creator.

But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. (Surah An- Naaziyaat: 40-41)

2. Her Haya (Modesty/Shyness):

Haya is one of the most significant factors of a woman’s personality. Haya according to a believer’s nature refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one’s fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “Haya comes from Eman; Eman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

A Muslim woman feels shy to do

anything that would displease her Lord in any aspect. She has haya in her talk, she has haya in her gaze, she has haya in her clothing, she has haya in her walk. Her haya in her talk is that she is not soft in her speech but speaks honorably. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner” (Surah Al-Ahzaab:32)

Her haya in her gaze is that she does not look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prohibited for her to look. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)… (Verse continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her clothing is that she does not reveal to others what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has forbidden for her to reveal. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

…And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.. (Verse Continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her walk is that she walks modestly without attracting others attention towards herself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

..And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger Sallallahu alaihiwasallam say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle of the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in “Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq)

A woman who has the knowledge of Allah’s commandment to preserve her modesty, submitting herself to the will of her creator, even after having the desire to be praised for her beauty, is without doubt beloved to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and as well as to all good believing men.

3. Her Beauty:

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala made women beautiful in the sight of men. It’s just that some human beings are more attracted towards some than others.

Aishah RadhiyAllahu anha said: “I heard the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Al-Qurtubi said: “Although they are all souls, they differ in different ways, so a person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common. So we notice that people of all types will get along with those with whom they share an affinity, and will keep away from those who are of other types. [This is like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”] For a believing man, a Muslim woman’s beauty is not just how her nose looks or how big her eyes are, but her modesty, purity of heart, and innocence make her look beautiful as well. Also Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala makes people whom He loves, pleasing to others.

“When Allah loves someone he calls to Jibreel Alaihissalaam saying, ‘O Jibreel, I love such and such a person, so love him.’ Then Jibreel will call to the (angels) of the heavens, ‘Allah loves such and such a person so love him.’ And the angels will love [that person]. And then Allah will place the pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

4. Her Intellect/playfulness:

Intellect and playfulness are two qualities of women highly liked by men. Every man likes to have an intelligent wife who can advise and support him in day to day matters. Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiyAllahu anha was one of the most beloved wives of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She supported Allah’s messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) at the very beginning of his Prophethood when Jibreel alaihissalaam brought the first revelation to him. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) always admired her and remembered her even long after her death. A playful wife is a joy and pleasure to a man’s heart. Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam recommended Jabir bin ‘Abdullah to marry a virgin so that the two could play with each other and amuse each other. Narrated Jabir bin ‘Abdullah: “My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron.

Allah’s Apostle said to me, “O Jabir! Have you married?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “A virgin or a matron?” I replied, “A matron.” he said, “Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you.” (Hadith continued) (Sahih Al- Bukhari)

5. Her Truthfulness:

Being truthful and honest is an essential quality of a believer. ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood RadhiyAllahu anh said:

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “I urge you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will continue to be truthful and seek to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as speaker of truth (Siddeeq). And beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hell; a man will continue to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

A person who is known to lie repeatedly loses his trust. And if that happens in case of a marital relationship the whole relationship falls apart. A woman who is known to be a “Siddeeqah” certainly has a higher status in a Muslim man’s heart.

6. Her Obedience:

Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala made man protector and maintainer of the woman and enjoined upon her to obey him in all the matters that do not go against Quran and Sunnah. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (Surah An-Nisa’: 34)

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.” (At-Tabarani, Ibn Majah)

7. Her Patience:

Patience is a characteristic that can never be praised enough. A woman who remains patient at the times of hardship and relies on the help and mercy of Allah is without a doubt a beloved servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)” (Surah Aal Imran: 146)

8. Her Cooking:

Delicious food is without a doubt weakness of men. It’s an old saying that “The Way to a Man’s Heart is through his Stomach”. We also know that one of Prophet’s (Sallallahu alaihiwasallam) wives used to cook food that he liked a lot and due to that Aishah radhiyAllahu anha would get jealous, because she didn’t know how to cook that.

9. Her Contentment with Rizq:

No man likes to have a woman who is always complaining about how less her husband earns or how rich her other friends are. A good Muslimah is the one who thank Allah for what He has blessed her with and she is thankful to her husband for what he provides her with. Abu Hurairah RadhiyAllahu anh reported:

The Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “Richness is not the abundance of wealth, rather it is self-sufficiency.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

10. Good Manners:

A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, why she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks. It is related by ‘Abdullah bin Amr that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said:

“The best of you are those who possess the best of manners.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)